New: The Gooch Palms – Tiny Insights

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Poor Newcastle – the Knights came in dead last in the comp, and they haven’t won a premiership in over a decade! Things are looking dire, the people need a hero, but all three Johns (Andrew, Matty, Daniel) are all looking like pretty dodgy candidates these days.

Enter the unlikeliest of heroes – The Gooch Palms. In just under 12 months, Newy’s finest have relocated to the USA, played with everyone from No Age to Cumstain, travelled the country enough to make Lewis and Clark crosseyed, and still had enough time to get their debut album re-released on Burger Records. If anyone was going to stand out as role models for these Newy kids, the nude, costume-centric, guitar thrashing duo of The Gooch Palms couldn’t be more perfect.

Wait, fuck, I’m not even done yet…They’ve ALSO recorded a new album, which will be released on their own label at some point next year.Check out “Tiny Insights”, a return to the stomping, simple format that made everyone fall in love with this band in the first place. Leroy yelps and squeals, churning out a guttural riff that could’ve been plied from the cold, dead hands of a Ramone, whilst Kat smashes the shit out of the drums like she’s stapled the faces of her enemies into the skins. It’s brittle, boney garage done right, smashed out and sounding as ramshackle and fun as ever.

PS – THE GOOCH PALMS WILL BE BACK NEXT YEAR!!!! They’ll be tearing a new one at The Vic on the Park Hotel on the 1st of January, as well as playing a headline show at OAF on the 25th of Feb, with Los Tones and Wildhoney.


Dicks and Golden Drumsticks: An Ode to the Gooch Palms

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The first time I ever saw the Gooch Palms was revolutionary. It was early October 2013, two days before my HSC Exams were to begin. It was a chilly Friday night, and myself and a good mate decided to head to the Cross and watch the Goochies launch their debut album ‘Novo’s’, aptly named after their hometown, Newcastle.

I had all the Gooch Palms’ material, from their early “Cucarachas” and ‘R U 4 Sirius’ 7″s, to their recently released record. I loved listening to this band, their catchy-as-hell chorus’ mixed with sweeter-than-rainbow punk rock. It was authentic, and vibrant, electric and eclectic. From their early, lo-fi recordings that were akin to balls-out (literally) Ramones rip-offs, and their synthier, DEVO side (“Participant No. 91”), to the power ballads of “You” and “Don’t Cry”, to the straight up garage ragers that should have festival crowds panting with joy in a few years time…The Gooch Palms have it all. And I had it all. I was so proud.

Back to the show…being just a mere few days before the most IMPORTANT EXAMS OF MY LIFE, I got insanely drunk. I didn’t know anyone at the show, and I felt out of place, and awkward. I wasn’t a punk, or a cool music dude. I was a nerd from a private school who just happened to hijack into the awesomeness of Anti-Fade Records’ discography. How the fuck was I allowed to enjoy something this special? A rowdy pub in the Cross, filled to the brim with deadset legends and talent bouncing from wall-to-wall was no place for a fucking blogger.

But you know what? The Gooch Palms changed that. They changed everything. For an 18 year old kid who’s previous most punk experience was watching Fucked Up perform with The Foo Fighters, The Gooch Palms showcased something insanely formative to my growth as a lover of punk rock and Australia’s wealth of talent. THEY DIDN’T CARE! They performed to a heaving crowd with the sort of enthusiasm that can only be described as biblical. Leroy spat on his tattooed chest with glee, and Kat smiled from behind her pink ‘do with beaming joy. They threw themselves into their music, and it made you want to throw yourself into it just as much as they did.

During “We Get By”, a salivatingly, pants-shittingly good track, as I thrashed at the front with reckless abandon, Leroy pulled me onto the stage. I accidently stepped on his pedals, and panic and grief struck my heart. Leroy didn’t give a shit. “Dance! Dance, man!”. I took off with something that can only be described as somewhere between Elvis Presley suffering a stroke and a guy at a Slayer concert. It was a fucked up heap of limbs, but no one cared, and my grin was bigger than anyone else.

And of course, there was Leroy’s nudity, an aspect that has now become one of the most recognised and anticipated aspects of The Gooch Palms’ live show. Some folks might see it as an excuse, or antic, trying to cover up bad music, but in fact, it is the opposite. It’s an accentuation of the madness and brilliance of this band. A garage band that doesn’t give a fuck, and in doing so, gives so many fucks.

For those who don’t know, The Gooch Palms are moving to America. Take a moment, it’s ok, I’ll wait. Shit, just typing this makes a single tear roll down my cheek like I’m in a goddamn Keep America Beautiful commercial. But really, it’s for the best. We don’t deserve a band like this, a band that can be so consistently good every time one sees them live. Two folks who care about each other, punk rockers nicer than most grandmothers. Two legends who know how to meld rock ‘n’ roll and pop together in a way that hasn’t been seen since Cheap Trick were at the top of their game.

The Gooch Palms have grown since that first fateful night. They’ve gone from playing support slots at midnight in Frankie’s, to being one of Australia’s most revered and beloved rock ‘n’ roll acts. They got matching uniforms, toured America, and Leroy got a green tinge to his mullet. I’ve grown as well. I’ve learnt to try to not be such a fuckwit, to go to as many shows as possible, and to try and be a more excellent human being. But no matter how much I try, I probably won’t live up to legend-itude of The Gooch Palms.

The Gooch Palms play their final shows this weekend, playing in Newcastle this Friday, and Sydney on Saturday. Proven legends Straight Arrows are main support for both shows, whilst deadset heroes The Sufferjets and newbies Raave Tapes support in Newy, and shred magicians Los Tones play in Sydney.

If you see Kat or Leroy around, go up, hug them, and wish them well (and shove $50 in their hand, USA is xpensive). It’s gonna be a tough year without knowing there’s a Goochies show around the corner for all hell to break loose. But we wish them well, and hope that the Yanks get to experience The Gooch Palms for the first time in exactly the same way I did, as a cerebral and unforgettable force of garage punk. Adios to one of my favourite bands. Adios to one of your favourite bands. See y’all at the shows!

New: The Gooch Palms – Trackside Daze

After creating some of the most brutally loveable performances of the year, with shows at The Lansdowne, Oxford Art Factory and Fishbowl shattering expectations and OH&S standards, The Gooch Palms have announced that they’re fucking off. Being one of Australia’s most lively bands, and compromised of one’n’only characters, Kat and Leroy will be sorely missed.

But they’re not pissing away without leaving a few skidmarks first. They’ve announced a new 7″, with the first track “Trackside Daze” promising itself as a stadium belter that Cheap Trick forgot to record in the 80’s. Although Gooch Palms have their trademark speedball guitar and thumping tom ‘n’ snare combo, you can definetely see Robin Zander throwing his hair every which way to “Trackside Daze”‘s affirming chorus.

If The Gooch Palms are truly leaving us behind, at least it’s with the knowledge that America will be getting its assumptions of the Aussie garage band shattered beyond repair. If The Gooch Palms can continue in the vein of “Trackside Daze”, then America is sorted for pants-shittingly good music.

Make sure you catch El Goocherama at their final shows in Australia ever. 20th of December at Brighton Up Bar (with Bowl Cut), MATES at The Lansdowne (with Palms, Straight Arrows, Bad//Dreems,  DJ Sunburnt Ginger) and the 21st of February at Newtown Social Club.

Gig Review: Straight Arrows + The Gooch Palms + TV Colours

Saturday 28 June @ The Fishbowl, Newcastle

You’re fucking kidding me, right? Three of Australia’s greatest bands in one house party? You’re fucking joking, right? That shit doesn’t exist in reality, does it? And yet, after a week of coughing up my lungs, and too much Codral, I found myself in Newy for the first time in my life, with a crudely drawn cock on one hand, and a sixie of South Korea’s finest brew in the other.

TV Colours are already blasting through a set off their debut album, with killer cuts like ‘Beverly’ ringing out onto the otherwise quiet Newcastle streets. These songs are Husker Du shredded down to Canberra size, and let loose in the Australian landscape. There’s probably nothing more beautiful than watching Robin and co. deliver with such confidence. Having seen TV Colours a half dozen times, its insane to see how the band has developed from being kind of sloppy and withdrawn, to being a hurricane of guitar shredding and explosiveness. In Newcastle, with only a hundred people in witness, TV Colours executed one of their best sets. As ‘Dark Days Against the Fade’ and ‘Bad Dreams’ rounded out the set, it’d be fair to say that everyone was fairly fucking stoked to see TV Colours play one of their finest shows.

After ‘Purple Skies, Toxic River’ had finished, Newy’s finest hit the stages. Kat and Leroy, aka The Gooch Palms are well-documented as one of Australia’s greatest current bands to see live. There will be sweat, there will be nudity, and there will be a cover of Twisted Sister’s ‘We’re Not Gonna Take It’.

The Goochies fuckin’ rule, and they were in top form. Sure, there were a couple technical issues, but that’s to be expected when you’re in a thronging crowd at a house party, in a city where there isn’t a million amazing gigs every week. When a show comes along this good, Newcastle folk don’t hold back, and they show no mercy. Neither did Leroy-a couple songs in, and his signature nudity was proudly on display, and his sweaty arse covered the faces of the front row. ‘Hunter Street Mall’, ‘You’ and ‘We Get By’ were taken and happily ravaged by the hometown crowd, and with this advantage,  the usual Gooch Palms shenanigans went into hyperspeed.

Finally, the house party hits its finale-Straight Arrows. Sydney’s finest wasted no time in laying waste to the crowd’s depleted energy. Straight Arrows don’t give a shit if you’re running low on fumes, you are going to party, and you are going to party hard. Although the toilet paper was limited this time around, the good times were still in full swing, as Straight Arrows tore through songs harder than Ivan Milat tore into naive backpackers. With cuts off both their debut and sophomore getting the sweaty, adoring treatment, Straight Arrows pulverised eyes and ears in the Fishbowl, ensuring that more people went home deaf and happy than not. The set, which included favourites like ‘Magic Sceptre’, ‘Something Happens’ and recent gut-churner, foot-stomper ‘Petrified’, managed to pulverise all five senses, and occasionally the sixth one.

I left the Fishbowl, drenched in a stench on par with a skunk dipped in rancid feces, and with a Dinosar Jr. t-shirt wetter than a nun at a porn shoot, to sleep in a Mini Cooper in the streets of Newcastle. Sure, my back was more cramped than an 80 year old arthritis patient, and sure, I froze my nipples off. But the fact that I had just witnessed three of Australia’s best bands at a house party in bloody Newcastle. Fuckin’ ripper of a Saturday night, if I don’t say so myself.

Top 10 Band Names of 2013

ImageWarning: If you’re over 30 you might not want to read this list. Unless, you’re Bill Murray.

It’s a well known fact that if you have a great name as a band, you will garner some attention. Sure, that attention will last approximately 2 weeks, and be compromised of shocked, right-wing mothers and punk kids trying way too hard to piss of their parents, like myself. However, if you can back that up with some great music, then what’s the worry?

Here are the Top 10 band names that stick out in my mind. Most of them have really good music, and you should definitely check them out. Some of them suck. Make up your own mind. Here they are, the bands with the most unique names of 2013:

10. Fuck Buttons-I talk about Fuck Buttons pretty much non-stop. In the lead up to their gig on Thursday, I must have said their name a minimum of 4000 times, and shocked quite a few bystanders in the process. However, besides havin a cuss word in their name, Fuck Buttons prove they can back their ‘controversial’ name with some killer tunes, like ‘The Red Wing’.

9. Pissed Jeans-Another great fringe band with a great name and better music. Pissed Jeans blend hardcore with gargled regurgitation, coming out like a Elmo in a blender with gnarled guitars and a bloodthirsty bassline. Listening to Pissed Jeans is like having Genghis Khan shoot the shit with you whilst he’s in the middle of drug rehabilitation, and is fiendin’ for some meth. If listening to ‘Bathroom Laughter’ doesn’t either make you shit yourself in fear, or get excited to dangerous levels, then you’re deaf.

8. Lightning Swords of Death- Lightning Swords of Death are a black metal band. and because my knowledge of black metal extends as far as ‘that’s the church-burning stuff from Norway right?’, I was kind of surprised when I downloaded ‘Vorticating Into Scars’ on the basis of the band’s awesome name, and was instantly flooded by a sound not dissimilar to Satan shitting blood on your face. Each to their own, but it must be said these guys have a great band name.

7. Yes, I’m Leaving-Yes, I’m Leaving have been around for a very long time, but their name is fucking fantastic (as does their 2013 album ‘Mission Bulb’, you’d be hard pressed to find a better Aussie punk album this year). The simple message of those three words is damn powerful, surmising that yes, its time to fuck off, and no, you can’t stop us.

6. Vulture Shit-Vulture Shit have the whole imagery thing down pat. When listening to ‘I Love The Way He Touches His Computer’, and silently contemplating destroying a hotel room, you can almost see a sinister vulture blatantly shitting all over  your previous conceptions that punk was dead.

5. Scott & Charlene’s Wedding-The project of Craig Dermody, slacker superstar, Scott & Charlene’s Wedding has tad more romantic connotations than, say, The Clits. Its a reference to that massive episode of Neighbours, when our titular characters got hitched. It was a pretty monumental moment in Australian television history, along with Cathy Freeman winning a running race and the first time How I Met Your Mother was aired on Channel 7. Anyway, Scott and Charlene’s Wedding (the band) make some fucking great jangle tracks, such as ‘Lesbian Wife’. However, you have been warned, once you listen to that song, good fucking luck trying to get it out of your head. Its the ‘Call Me Maybe’ for people with taste.

4. Bed Wettin’ Bad Boys-One of Sydney’s greatest bands, possibly one of the greatest in Australia. From love-torn ballads, to down-n-out slacker anthems, the Bad Boys make just plain great music for the average guy. Its like the love child between Alex Chilton and Paul Westerberg, only with a way cooler band name.

3. The Gooch Palms- Ahhh, The Goochies. What’s not to love about them? From regular onstage nudity, to raw garage punk infused with pop sensibility, to their no-bullshit attitude in live performance and music. However, for most, their name will be the thing to strike an unassuming radio listener. Gooch? As in, that hairy thing between your legs? Ewwwwww. Then ‘We Get By’ comes on, and all you’ll be able to think about from that point on is how fucking great a band The Gooch Palms are.

2. Diarrhea Planet- There was a story earlier this year about a grandma who got royally pissed off because her grandson wanted to buy the new Diarrhea Planet record. I think the thing we can garner from this is that her grandson has excellent taste in music. ‘Seperations’ is one of the better tracks of this year, and I doubt many people would have heard it if that name didn’t make you turn your head like witnessing Roadrunner getting his neck snapped by Wil E. Coyote.

1. Girls Pissing on Girls Pissing- Ah, finally, the crux of the article amirite? Actually, the whole point of this story was kind of just to show off the brand new song, ‘A Fraud Abroad’, by Girls Pissing On Girls. Its an absolute stunner of a track from the Kiwi group, and one that really shouldn’t go unrecognised. But don’t take that to mean these guys don’t have one of the best names in the world. Next time you want to be all mad-rebel-ish, just tell your Mum that your new favourite band is Girls Pissing on Girls Pissing, and see where that gets you. Actually, once you have a listen, they probably will be your new favourite band, so you won’t even have to lie. It’s a win-win!

Hand Games Mixtape #15 October (free download)

Hand Games Mixtape #15 October (free download)

Holy shit, new Hangames mixtape, today just went from being misery incarnate to possibly the best day of your life. Yeah, the new one is an absolute doozy. There’s no mucking around or filler on this one, the ‘Cute-Confused Tiger’ mixtape, just straightforward glorious new Australian tunes. The opener is Seekae’s absolutely fucking brilliant new single ‘Another’. You know, one of the best Australian songs of the year, the song that is physically impossible not to love. Well, Hand Games open up with that, then move onto the new Peak Twins track, and then into Major Napier. So far, the organ that produces the chemical of lust is working in overdrive, as these three songs jet you into head over heels addiction for the goodness of this playlist.

Moving on, there’s sultry stuff from Matin King, (one half of Oscar + Martin), and then a triple threat of slacker rock royalty from Yard Duty, The Ocean Party and Scott & Charlene’s Wedding. This triple treat of acts should be enough to warrant downloading this mix alone, but then we move into the feel-good production of acts like Jonti (with help from his mates Big Scary), Movement and MKO. The playlist goes out strong on the garage rock throne of the sullen ‘Drove Down’ by Full Ugly, and the sprightly title track from The Gooch Palms ‘Novo’s’.

Luckily for you, and everyone else out there, this mixtape is completely free, so there is literally no excuse for not nabbing it right now, for 0 dollar$. You’d have to be completely insane not to. Even Charles Manson would shank a prison guard to get his hands on this amazing, amazing mixtape.

R.I.P Chopper Reid Playlist

Chopper Reid was an Australian hero. Sure, he did a lot of crazy shit back in the day, but through and through he represented core Australian values of mateship, honesty and loyalty. He served as the best Australian anti-hero since Ned Kelly, and its a shame to hear of his passing. By now, with the books, Heath Franklin’s hilarious parody, and the biopic film starring Eric Bana, you would’ve heard the name Chopper somewhere. This playlist serves to honour a fallen hero. It’s chock full of gritty punk songs from the underground, just like Chopper. There’s stuff from the 80’s (The Replacements, Fugazi, Flipper), and some newer punk (FIDLAR, METZ, Tyvek) and some Australian classics (The Scientists, Lubricated Goat). And of course, there’s the underground Australian shit that has more energy in it than a writhing Komodo Dragon. But they all show the side of Chopper Reid that Australia knew and loved: hard, fun-loving and dedicated.

1. Fugazi-Do You Like Me

2. FIDLAR-Cheap Beer

3. Chicks Who Love Guns-Run People

4. The Replacements-Customer

5. Witch Hats- Ma Birthday

6. Destruction Unit-Slow Death Sounds

7. Flipper-Be Good, Child!

8. Future of the Left-The House that Hope Built

9. Reckless Vagina-Dollarhyde

10. Bed Wettin’ Bad Boys-Nobody Else

11. Lubricated Goat-In The Raw

12. The Scientists-Set It On Fire

13. TV Colours-Bad Dreams

14. METZ-Get Off

15. Danzig-Mother

16. Tyvek-4312

17. The Mission of Burma-1,2,3 Partyy!

18. The Wipers-Mystery

19. Royal Headache-Down the Lane

20. The Gooch Palms-We Get By

Album Review: The Gooch Palms-Novo’s


Holy. Fucking. Shit. Holy. Fucking. Shit. No, that was not a simple control-paste mistake, I have more journalistic integrity than that. This record is just so fucking good that it is inherently necessary to repeat oneself in complete gobsmacked appreciation. Honestly, listening to this thing, you basically just want to go find this band and follow them around for life, with the small glimmer of hope that you can caress their genius. The Gooch Palms craft perfect garage. Let me repeat that: perfect garage. Absolutely perfect, there is no fault, no fuck up, no shoddy workmanship. Why? Because The Goochies pride themselves on their faults, their fuck-ups and shoddy workmanship. They put it out all on display: they smacked-out guitar riffs, the contemporary-bogan-meets-1970’s punk vocals, the drumming that has the consistency of a Newcastle steel factory circa-the glory days…it’s all there. Everything you could want in a record. NIHILISM! FUN! GARGANTUAN CATCHINESS! It’s all fucking there.

In case you’re the kind of person that reads the entire Itunes Terms and Conditions agreement before clicking ‘I Agree’, here’s a further analysis of what makes His & Her Royal Goochiness rock n roll legends with their album ‘Novo’s’. The album opens with perhaps it’s best song ‘We Get By’ (I say perhaps, because this is an album comparable to ‘Nevermind’ or whatever, and these records are fucking full of ‘best songs’). ‘We Get By’ is romantically simplistic, providing a lovingly youthful outset on life, following the age-old adage of ‘it’s just me and you, and that’s all right’ WHICH IS COINCIDENTALLY THE CHORUS OMG GUYZ THIS SONG SPEAKS TO ME!. ‘We Get By’ is just such a well crafted song, it is mind-blowing that doves don’t burst out of trees in a perfect V every time this song plays (Get your shit together doves).

The record progresses with a bunch more songs that makes the heart swell, the eyes close in orgasmic pleasure, and all of time slow to GMT (Goochies Mean Time). There are a lot of themes that present themselves. Firstly, there’s the theme of ‘How fucking great is it to be in a band?!’, as shown in ‘Loudest Mouth’, a stormy, brat punk track that gives Cyndi Lauper a run for her money. Secondly, there’s the nods to their hometown of Newcastle. The record’s called Novo’s, which is apparently a derogatory term for the Newcastle folk. Well, the title track is a jarring thing, churning out a rhythm that blasts with the power of a Mortal Kombat special move, and ‘Hunter Street Mall’, a love song to Newcastle boredom, features one of my favourite aspects of The Gooch Palms: the yelps of ecstasy that sound like Kermit the Frog getting high on helium and jizzing at the same time. Musical perfection. Finally, there’s power ballads…and these bad boys sound better than David Lee Roth personally coming to your house and howling into your ear for hours on end. ‘You’ and ‘Don’t Cry’ are two fucking brilliant tracks, and show that The Goochies don’t just go full pelt into headlong wreckin’ oblivion, like T-Rex’s on a velociraptor rampage. Nup, the Goochies can slow dance with you at your prom with the best of them. They may be rockin’ heart-shaped sunnies and a Ramones t-shirt, but fuck you if you don’t believe for one second that they’ll give you the best waltz you’ve ever had.

To conclude, this album is, yep I’ll say it again, perfection. It is objective perfection. There is nothing wrong with this album, everything is just right. The Gooch Palms play and sing what they know. They won’t bullshit you with some glossed over fuckwad of a tune, they will just pelt out a heartfelt bulldozer of a track that will crush your mind with gooey appreciation. Listening to The Gooch Palms is like heroin or Disney Land: one hit and it will change your fucking life. You’ll be able to brush the dirt off and say to yourself ‘Well, I may be infested with seven different STI’s, owe half a million in unpaid parking fees, and have a foetus growing out of my left nostril, but at least I got the Goochies!’.

Go buy this fucking album. That’s a fucking order. It’ll be available at your local record store, on CD and vinyl. ‘Novo’s’ ‘officially’ came out on Friday 4th October, but it’s been available for at least a week. So now, you have no excuse not to own this slice of holiness.

And to catch this slice of holiness live and in the flesh, all one needs to do is hop along to Hotel Street on Friday 11th October, where the Goochies will be wreaking absolute havoc.

September Playlist

September is here! And with it comes Spring…and my birthday. I’m gonna be fucking 18, and better yet I’ll be able to go see Fuck Buttons, live and in the flesh. I reckon I’ll kidnap one of them. Anyway, enough of my longing for abrasive electronica. This is the playlist of songs that have inserted their roots of addictiveness in my soul. From Aussie acts like Violent Soho, The Gooch Palms and Seekae, who are constantly popping up on this website, to newcomers like The Ocean Party and Clowns. There’s also heaps more electronic, production based music on this playlist, from Shigeto, to Charles Murdoch, and SBTRKT. All round, this playlist is full of diverse and amazing music that you should consider buying.

P.S The new Royal Headache song is fucking awesome.

1. Violent Soho-Dope Calypso

2. The Gooch Palms-We Get By (free download here)

3. The Ocean Party-Split

4. Shigeto- Perfect Crime

5. Hayden James-Permission to Land (Charlees Murdoch Remix) (free download)

6. Dispatj-Kuiper Belt (free download)

7. JaysWays-Mirror

8. Astronomical Bird-Feel Me Up (free download)

9. Royal Headache-Stand and Stare

10. Clowns-I’m Not Right

11. Big Ups-Goes Black (free download)

13. Amateur Drunks- My Favourite Stories

14. Lightning Bolt-Barbarian Boy

15. Joanna Gruesome-Sugarcrush

16. TV On the Radio-Mercy

17. Shinies-Taste

18. Seekae-Another

19. PIXL-Crazy feat. Nicole Millar

20. SBTRKT-Gloss

Video: The Gooch Palms-Novo’s

What’s better than the brand new Goochie’s title track from their upcoming debut album? Nothing, right? Right? How about ‘Novo’s’ accompanied by some badass riot footage from 1979? Yeah, don’t lie, you totally want to see a balding guy start shit with some coppers and some bearded bogans attempt to push over a ute. It’s in our nature, in our blood, to want these things. You’re only rejecting your humanity if you try to fight this instinct. Just go with the flow, embrace your primal instinct to rebel.

As for the track, it’s a pretty cool, strummed out n strung out song, with the dual vocalists repeating Novo’s a fuckload of times. It just makes the album seem a little more mouth-watering, and a little less time until its in my grubby little hands.