The second release from new label EXXE Records is a creature dredged from a forgotten swamp where The Cramps and Kyuss spent one fateful night together. On the one hand, God K is as foreboding as anything taken from an EyeHateGod record, but the vocals are lathered in some fritzy camp, half-shouted, half-regurgitated for your ears to try and untangle.

God K work best when they are just completely unleashing their sonic depravity. Tracks like “Bionic Man”, “Copycat Killer” and “Superforce” are classic rock power chords wrapped in enough muscled reverb to kill the average Swervedriver nerd. They exist in a sludgy universe where everything is askew and thuggish, and God K are pretty much the only friend that you have. Hazy and demented, God K are like a version of The Cheshire Cat that’s gotten incredibly into Beat Happening’s “Pajama Party in a Haunted Hive”, and this EP exists as a token of their whirring, snarling brilliance.

God K are playing a kickass show at The Union Hotel in Newtown on March 19th, with Broadcasting Transmitter and Melon  Melon Melon.


Rock Album Reviews, Pt. 1: White Summer + Designer Mutts + Hari & the Karis + Lightsabres + Almighty Rhombus

I’ll admit it. I’m a massive knob. My e-mail has been stockpiling record review request after record review request, and I’ve been sitting here, trying to do something about it. Except, instead of doing stuff about it, I went to a bunch of gigs and focused on not fucking up my new job. But to quote The Big Lebowski, ‘Sometimes, there’s a man…and even if he’s a lazy man-which Ryan most certainly was….aw, I’ve lost my train of thought’. Anyway, here’s a bunch of review of the albums that I thought were pretty badass. Apologies to the artists that I couldn’t give them an original piece, it is simply a matter that I would probably end up in the morgue from finger blisters. Enjoy my shitty descriptions, then go buy these albums.

White Summer-What I’ve Been Waiting For EP

The White Summer are a rock band from Melbourne. If you typed that sentence into Google, you’d probably get an infinite amount of search results, but goddamn if this isn’t one paying attention. Right off the bat, their tunes will worm their way into your ears and set up a permanent residence. If The Black Angels spent some time getting guitar lessons from Dan Auberach, and there was a vocal morphing of Ian Kenny and Matt Bellamy, you could get something with the power and balls of White Summer. If you don’t believe that description, think its lame or whatever, listen to ‘Head in the Sand’, and feel the wrath of wrongness.

Designer Mutts-A Day At the Wauchope Races

Despite the fact that I’d never head of Mauchope before this EP crossed my path (it’s a small town in the Mid-North Coast of NSW, whoever said reading shitty music blogs wasn’t educational), I did know a bit about Mark Spence. The dude was in a band called Royal Chant that I adored and saw a couple times back in Year 10 when I first found out that there was something to listen to besides Mix 106.5. Designer Mutts is a side-project from Royal Chant, and the EP that Mark has released is great. Every track on the EP is a solid rock track, something that you could easily find yourself singing along to down at your local inner West venue. A special standout track is ‘High Low’, a song that will make you want to ride down a highway, top down and shouting at the top of your lungs, so fucking stoked with the track that you’ll completely ignore all the abundantly cliche nature of your behaviour.

SUPER SPECIAL BONUS REVIEW: Royal Chant-New Nowhere. Starting off with an acoustic strumming, the song soon envelopes and matures into a full-blown, catchy-as-REM-on-steroids rock track. Download for free, and enjoy with a side of breakfast in Surry Hills, because with the money you’ll save on good tunes with ‘New Nowhere’, you’ve earned an expensive early-morning treat.

Hari & The Karis-Hari & The Karis

Let’s just say that if you include an old-school Black Keys cover that you completely nail with boogie-woogie infection, then you’ll get an all-star review on my website that means fuck all in the spectrum of things. However, Hari & The Karis, a garage swamp band from New York that put the rock back in defrockingingly badass, have more than enough tunes on hand to back that prematurely biased evaluation. Just take a listen to ’24 Hours’, a song that screams and squirms, bursting out of the normal with a chorus that goes ‘All we have is 24 hours, all we need is a miracle!’. Sound familiar to anyone who’s done an assignment, ever? Anyway, all the songs on these guys self-titled record are spaced out boogie monsters that will cling to your brain like a Facehugger, switching between schizophrenically wild to gooey macabre, and a whole spectrum of other emotions as well. At the least, you’re brain is going to explode all over the room from being wildly entertained. If Velociraptor (the band, not the villain) toured with these guys, the world would probably combust from the charisma.


Stoner rock from Sweden has always been a little pet-love of mine. I never knew that much about it, and it seemed hard to delve and find any more  information about it short of moving to Stockholm, but let’s just say Dozer have always been a constant reminder to me of how great that nationalistic sub-genre is. However, the new band Lightsabres has sought to rectify that gaping hole in my life. There’s nothing not to love with Lightsabres. Firstly, their name is from the most badass weapon in Star Wars, something most people that have visited this website will know I love. Secondly, they’re a stoner-rock band from fucking Sweden, something I’ve already established is almost as badass as lightsabres themselves. To clarify, their riffs are a murky mess of slow and toxic menace, choking out the listener like Hulk Hogan in his Black Sabbath-loving days. Finally, Lightsabres do a pretty good (not better, but pretty good) cover of one of my all time favourite songs by one of my all time favourite artists, Ty Segall. Although, a relatively short work, ‘Demons’ is fucking badass.

The Almighty Rhombus-Lucid Living

And to round out my embarrassingly late reviews, its The Almighty Rhombus, a Canadian band with a good name (the rhombus-most underrated 2D shape ever) and even better songs. For an indie rock band, none of these songs are grating, at least for me.They flow nicely from one to another, bright  and melodic enough to not bog themselves down, but with enough lyrical self-deprecation (see: ‘Butane Brain’) and diversity in the music to ensure that their music doesn’t get annoying. If Vampire Weekend and The Strokes teamed up and found their credibility again, you could get something like ‘Lucid Living’. Even if you’re not an indie-rock fan, the song ‘Blank’ is worth a geez.

Album Review: Milkmaids-Heavy Sleeper


Warning: Play this loud, or shut the fuck up about how you’re so into Metal. Go put on ‘Lulu’ by Metallica, and cry yourself to sleep. If you’ve ever found yourself saying, ‘I don’t know, I think ABBA were a better 70’s band than Motorhead’, then first of all, who the fuck are you, and secondly, this album is not for you.

Alright, so the get to boring shit out of the way so I can get stuck into how fucking great this record is. Milkmaids are from Sydney, they play something like if The Melvins were fucking He-Man’s biceps (aka just a huge fucking sludge metal sound) and not much else is known about them. In that regard, Milkmaids are like the Batman of Sydney’s underground scene: mysterious, covered in black shit and more frightening  than a a blowjob from Jaws.

Literally, ‘Heavy Sleeper’ is one of the finest heavy records I’ve heard all year, and I’ve been listening to Converge and Kvlertak like those bands are about to be wiped from the Earth’s memory. Of course, this seems like a weird statement to make in lieu of all the fantastically bombastic releases the world has unleashed upon our timid minds. Deafheaven? A new one from Black Sabbath? ‘Pools’ from locals Zeahorse? Surely, this can’t top them all? But like the last 10 minutes of every sports movie ever, Milkmaids come in at the final moment, pumped full of steroids and juicing to tear off the opposing teams ligaments, to win the game.

‘Monolith’ is the first taste in the record that shows what kind of onslaught the listener is in for. Although it is the second track, and the opener did a fine job of introducing the concept of Milkmaids, it is ‘Monolith’ that carries the torch of gargantuan riffs and a devilish good time. Unlike the aforementioned Zeahorse, (who I’ll admit have the tied first best Australian heavy release of 2013), Milkmaids show they do like to get a little loose on the classic metal side of things instead of experimentingand finding failures. Atom-splitting shredding is introduced are whilst the thickets slabs of meaty bass riffs this side of Sabbath continue to pound away at the mind with unrelenting fervour.

This sort of unhinged badassery that makes you want to start a motorcycle club called ‘The Bad MotherFuckers’ continues throughout the record with unapologetic exuberance. Seriously, listening to songs like ‘Forgot to Think’ and ‘Up In Smoke’ will make you want to hijack a red Corvette, and rip across the middle of nowhere with a Cancer Bats record thrashing and Lemmy Kilmister actually throwing up into your ear, hair mole scratching your eyelids and all. And shorter tracks like ‘Garden’ and ‘Caveman’, well, if you thought those were let-ups on the onslaught, think again as its like a combination of QOTSA’s first record being given a re-work by Rob Zombie and chewed up by the finest fiends of hell.

Although one can go on and on about the vicious delectableness of ‘Heavy Sleeper’, the gargling concoction of bottomed out stoner rock with blacker-than-black bubbling sludge gives Milkmaids the advantage of satisfying the listener within the first few minutes of the record. Now, the ability to continue and maintain such a bastian of hellish and delightful sounds for nearly 40 minutes…that’s a feat that one can only look at with slack-jawed admiration. Final bit of advice: listen to this record. Fucking. Loud.

You can grab Milkmaids record for $8 off their Bandcamp here. The only reason you wouldn’t do this is if you like Fleet Foxes, in which case, how the fuck did you make it to the end of this article? Finally, Milkmaids are playing their final show of 2013 at The Square. GO TO IT! Unless you’re not the sort of person into having their mind blown. In which case, fuck you.

Album Review: God Damn-Heavy Money EP

Well, well, well; some music that will make you want to arm wrestle an elephant whilst drinking a chocolate milkshake infused with Rasputin’s pubes. MAN! This is an intense album, a flurry of doom-metal punk riffs that sluggishly cry oblivion whilst screeching mayhem. God Damn are the banshees of a metal punk outfit than was probably named after someone heard them practising and exclaimed: GOD DAMN!

The Heavy Money EP is a record adorned with baying destruction. The title track is a good starting point. The growling, swirling riff sinks it’s teeth into a meaty black wound of a track and pulverises the thing to pieces, shredding a new arsehole for a song that was already vicious enough.  ‘Heavy Money’ explodes with pained self-awareness, starting with a Middle Class Rut-ish stop-start hook that only escalates and escalates until the anguish can be contained no more and is just belted out in a live like no tomorrow fashion. Also, the phrase ‘earholes’ is featured in the lyrics, and the video clip features a homeless guy saving a kid in a Batman mask by exploding people’s heads. If that isn’t the coolest thing you’ve seen, then you’re wrong.

The surprises seem to be the par for the course on the record. Every song brings with it a new and damning turn. How do the band follow the torturous gem of ‘Heavy Money’? A ghoulish spectre of a track in ‘I Don’t Really Mind’ that fades in and out of lofty haunts, something Queens of the Stone Age might have banged out a couple of years ago. Another M. Night Shyamalan twist is the awesomely titled ‘Like Meat to Morrissey’, which follows the freak-out instrumental blitz ‘New Invention Victory Club’, however this one is a doom/stoner metal extravaganza with extended, fuzzy chords like Fu Manchu or Black Sabbath pump out on da’ daily, coupled with a horrifying shout that recalls Melvins, Houdini-era (the BEST era!). Finally, the Kyuss epic droner ‘Dangle Like Skeletons’ draws out for a mesmerising eight minutes, jagged like the edge of a maelstrom.

God Damn’s ‘Heavy Money’ is intimidating stuff, not for the weak of heart. It’s heavy, it’s raw, and most of all it’s good. Really, really good. ‘Heavy Money’ gives me the same sort of feeling as when I heard Sepultura or Converge for the first time. Although nowhere near as heavy, it still captures the heart and intensity of those bands, and God Damn commit to every fucking note they play. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I’ll take a fucking barrel.

God Damn’s ‘Heavy Money’ EP is available 4 freedizzles (free of charge for those who don’t speak cold gangster) on their Bandcamp. Highly recommend at least picking up ‘Heavy Money’ (the song) if you don’t think you can invest the energy of downloading an EP for free.