As the title would indicate, these are a few songs that will have a similar effect as a kangaroo using your nutsack as a speedball. Also, the kangaroo is on speed. Also, there is no way you can listen to all five of these bands in one sitting and not suffer a heart attack. You’ve been warned.
WOD – Top 5
Out on the fucking legendary label Pissfart Records, who’ve also done shit with Drunk Mums and Dumb Punts, party disembowlers WOD have released an ode to fucking around and being unable to count to 5. “Top 5” is all about Eddy Current Suppression Ring meeting AC/DC at the gloryhole in a dingy Melbourne watering stick carpet venue.The entire song spends its time expelling true rock and roll from both ends of the body. If aliens discovered this track, they’d be falling over their tentacles to be the first to Planet Earth, so they could all hang out with our overlords WOD.
Dead Set Ledger – Buddy’s Kicking Screwies on the SCG
This seems damned appropriate considering the Grand Final is in a few hours (‘CARN SWANNIES!). However, it comes from some old mates out of Melbourne, the legends known as Dead Set Ledger. Utilising old commentary praising the great Buddy Franklin, a chocolate thickshake of a riff and a beautifully macabre yelp, Dead Set Ledger may have just made themselves the best footy ode since “That’s My Team”. And “That’s My Team” sucks. So yeah, just listen to this instead, because it fucking rules.
Truly Holy – Paradise
Truly Holy have a name that might bring to mind a band like Boy & Bear or Father John Misty, or some other bullshit that’s all about connecting your spirit with the earth. But their tunes are so fucking Melbourne and rock ‘n’ roll, it’s easy to throw that gesture away. Their single, which I wish I had gotten onto ages ago, is a looming monologue in the style of Total Control being mixed down. It’s a hard-working existential paradise, and will make you feel as depressed and elated as if you whipped yourself a Nietzsche smoothie.
MUSK – Last Stand/ Rot Soft
MUSK are a band out of Oakland, which is where my entire family lives. I have a strong and heady heart for Oakland, because it always manages to produce some of the most badass music. MUSK are a prime example, a mixture of fire-spitting brutality, and deadly swagger. If Tex Perkins grew up in a city more dangerous than Baltimore in The Wire (see: Oakland) you’d be hard-pressed to see him forming a band other than this delicious stanky MUSK.
Vomitface – Sloppy Joes
First up, how fucking great is the name Vomitface? It’s right up there with Diarrhoea Planet and The Gooch Palms. Their music is just as primal and beautifully revolting as their name, falling in the vein of Eagulls and Hookworms, or that J Mascis/King Tuff side project Witch. They’ve got these super finger-nails on chalkboard vibes running through their crunchy guitars, distortion turning the song into a mushroom-cloud laying motherfucker. The finale is a brutal mix of stoner-rock that would make the members of Kyuss weep.
Pet Sun – Feel Like I’m Going Away
I am super surprised that Pet Sun don’t have a Hozac Records tag on them yet. They seem like exactly the sort of thing that the home of Heavy Times and Radar Eyes would jizz over harder than Gary Busey watching Point Break reruns. It’s jungle-party rock and roll, debased and disgusting, dribbling and hungry guitars chewing the scenery. “Feel Like I’m Going Away” is a relatively simple track, with a basic refrain, badass riff and bootylicious solo, but the legendary-ness comes from The Stooges-like swagger that Pet Sun pull off. They’re rock and roller with ease, like Drunk Mums or Straight Arrows, and pulverise the senses with what seems like little effort. Sexcellent.