New: Parquet Courts + Popstrangers + Makthaverskan + White Lung

Today’s edition of Ryan’s jizz-tastic explorations is brought to you by the genre: FUZZ. Also, none of these bands are from ‘Straya, so there’s that as well. So many connections, this article feels more like The Matrix than a boring blog post, amirite?

Parquet Courts-Sunbathing Animal

In my own humble opinion, Parquet Courts are the kind of band that the world needs now. Fuck love, we need Parquet Courts. Luckily, the band are never shy of releasing material on a constant basis. Since ‘breaking’ with their official debut record ‘Light Up Gold’ in 2012/2013, they’ve released an EP, and are gunning to release a new album in a few months. ‘Sunbathing Animal’ is the title track, as well as the first taste, and in typical Parquet Courts fashion it doesn’t let up. It’s more furious than Vin Diesel being denied another access to the weights room/steroid lab, and is full of tangled, cross-eyed guitar. There’s the usual speeding, finger-flipping stream-of-consciousness lyrics, and overall, Parquet Courts fail to disappoint. Fuck Parquet Courts for being unable to suck shit.

 

Popstrangers-Country Kills

Popstrangers blasted out of New Zealand with their shoegaze laden debut, but they’ve swapped it for some more straightforward rock on the first single from their upcoming sophomore.And when I say straightforward, I mean a zebra-striped, peeling guitar riff that sniffed the acid residue from an Unknown Mortal Orchestra orgy, and then a chorus of head-bopping, cruise-controlled infectiousness. And of course, there’s a mushy psych guitar solo in there, because it wouldn’t be a decent Popstrangers track without one.

 

Makthaverskan-No Mercy

I always wondered if Savages ever lost their viciousness, would they still be any good? Deadset, some random band from Sweden answered that question, and have created a post-punk masterpiece. It starts out like any Jesus & Mary Chain/Joy Division/Sisters of Mercy sound alike, the deep bass ruts providing a sturdy, swirling pedestal. Then the vocals start, and your heart melts faster than a chocolate fountain. As the song swoons on the precipice of perfection, there’s these gorgeous little guitar interludes, and you want to die and live in a place where this song exists as a currency. “Hi, can I grab an apple?”, “That’ll be two spins of ‘No Mercy'”. Wouldn’t that be the best alternate universe ever?

White Lung-Drown With the Monster

And to finish, some screeching, caterwauling punk from Vancouver’s White Lung. These guys are so brutal and knife-edge they make Crocodile Dundee look like a pussy. They command and strut with this new song, always careening on the edge of oblivion and blown-out eardrums. If this isn’t punk rock finesse, then obviously you’re an Avril Lavigne fan. Party on sk8r boi.

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New: Cloud Nothings-I’m Not Part of Me

Holy fuck balls stick on a dingo baby’s asshole! New Cloud Nothings right!? Didn’t expect for this to rock up and make me prematurely lose my shit in the middle of class.

However, it did, and I have no regrets, because it’s a super awesome mad track. That’s the highest level of madness a song can receive, by the way. It achieves that rank because ‘I’m Not Part of Me’ combines both the romantic dreaminess of Cloud Nothing’s self-titled record with the Steve Albini-influenced post-punk of their 2012 record ‘Attack on Memory’.

You may be wondering how good a thing that could possibly be. Let me tell you that this is fucking awesome news, because a combination like that allows for the song to be both catchier than a ball thrown by a sloth, and hard-rocking enough to be able to get people ultra-moshing!

Video: HUNTERS-Narcissist

Hands down, one of the best punk songs to come out all year, and its been matched with one of the the best videos of the year as well. HUNTERS are a band from New York, a place that has an exceptional punk scene going on as of late. HUNTERS are just a part of a scene that includes BIG UPS, Total Slacker and Vulture Shit amongst others. Anyway, HUNTERS were always at the back of my mind, but now they’ve come out with this gem of a track that is guaranteed to go all George A. Romero on you, and cannibalise you. ‘Narcissist’ lurches into full gear from the very start, and doesn’t loosen its grasp until you are well and truly gasping for air.

The clip is another story altogether, featuring a whole bunch of colourful characters. There’s the ‘rowdy teenagers’, a bunch of kids who beat the shit out of a car whilst ’21st Century Romeo and Juliet’ make out inside of it. There’s ‘Cornrows’, a kid who’s just fucking angry the whole time, and then, of course, there’s ‘Boris’, an Eastern European gangster that is probably a serial killer. Like, 90% sure. There’s no way that dude could swing the axe like that unless he’d used it to cut through bones before.

From start to finish, ‘Narcissist’ is such a fucking badass song. It’s got a chorus that implodes like a thousand land mines going off in your brain, and musically, it’s like a buzz-saw chewing up your body. The whole thing reeks of pure genius.