Garish Hearts: A Film By Angela Garrick & Jay Cruickshank

I was perusing the latest issue of Sneaky Magazine, because I’m a narcissistic bastard that likes to see the stuff I’ve written in print form. It was here that i discovered exactly what I’d be doing on June 26th: the Sydney premiere of ‘Garish Hearts’.

‘Gairsh Hearts’ is a film that is bound to make your insides squirm, your heart combust, and your brain implode with the sort of fucked-up glory that people don’t usually have the balls to pull off anymore. Described as a ‘Psychic Melodrama for All the Family’ and instantly piquing my interest with a trailer that shows off a recent widow that describes herself as, ‘…Fabulous’, ‘Garish Hearts’ is promising to be the weirdest, strangest, and most slack-jawed brilliant film of 2014.

The plot goes along the lines that a bunch of crazy people named Maude, Max, Wayne, Violet, and Zach, have their lives become intertwined in a case of funerals, cults, online sexual predators and ambiguous reality TV. If that doesn’t sound like something that you’d want to lose an arm to watch, you’re actually someone not worth hanging out with. That is a hilarious plotline on par with The Big Lebowski, or Fargo.

Look, here’s a warning. There aren’t going to be any Michael Bay-esque action sequences, and there are zero features of Bruce Willis’ shiny cranium. HOWEVER, if you’re willing to sacrifice a little amateur production values for one hell of a script, and performances that’ll blow your goddamn mind, then go watch ‘Garish Hearts’. Seriously, go watch ‘Garish Hearts’, and then pick the mind slime off the walls of the Dendy. Worth it times a billion.

‘Garish Hearts’ a film by Angela Garrick & Jay Cruickshank is premiering this Thursday, June 26th at Circular Quay Dendy, and tickets are only $15, which you can get here.