New Aus Punk: Destiny 3000 + Cereal Killer + Woollen Kits + Nailhouse

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Destiny 3000 – Destiny 3000 7″

This record has been on the burner since the second best Fast and Furious movie was released (Furious 6, for those keeping score at home). Destiny 3000 haven’t played all that many shows either in recent history, which is a shame, because they will make your ears bleed and your heart swoon. But putting all of that aside, they have finally released a record, and it is worth all the droning Vin Diesel monologues about family in the world.

This 7″ is just so fantastic in every aspect. Coated in grime, guitars battling for supremacy, and an overall disaffected garage pop aesthetic that puts Destiny 3000 next to Australia’s premiere shredders like Angie, Miss Destiny, and The Friendsters. Although only four songs long, and attached with a mild uncertainty as to if Destiny 3000 will stick around to record anything more (knock on wood), this 7″ will, at the very least, form some sort of legacy for a deserving band.

Cereal Killer – Track 1

Barely nudging past one minute, Cereal Killer put a whole lot of other punk bands to shame in a deft swoop of snotty, thumb-biting vocals and flailing guitars. It’s dine and dash punk, a flurry of distraction action that gets you all exhilarated…”What’s happening?”, “This is great!”, “I hope this song goes on forever!”…before finishing in the same amount of time as a the life cycle of a mayfly with a heroin problem.

Woollen Kits – Girl With Heart 7″

Not really a punk band, but you’re too far through the “article” (and I do mean that in the loosest definition possible) to stop now. C’mon, I believe in you. Besides, you’ll like Woollen Kits, I guarantee it. They’re easily the most underrated band in their genre of strummed guitar pop…how the fuck can a band release two perfect albums and still not be gracing the cover of the New Musical Express with fancy haircuts and a hyperbolic headline*? How are Woollen Kits not best mates with Johnny Depp?

The time will come when Woollen Kits are rubbing shoulders with Hollywood’s sharpest dressed, and botox treatments are referred to as “Lazy Tuesdays with Alan Rickman”. Until then, feel free to crash into some more-of-the-blessed-same pop via the brief but welcome Girl With Heart 7″.

*The irony of me calling out someone on irony is registered.

Nailhouse – Nailhouse

Straight outta Newcastle is some punk of the demonic variety. Nailhouse share a lot in common with FANG and Flipper, preferring to indulge in feedback-laden drones of nihilism than any sort of accessibility scheme. Built from steely glares and throat-crunching cries, Nailhouse climb on top of their own precarious lodgings of noise, only to fling themselves off. It’s music that could only come from a forgotten town like Newcastle, where the cultural cringe is worn on the sleeve. Frayed and loaded with loathing, Nailhouse’s “March” stands out strongly as a despairing track on a despairing tape from a despairing band in a pretty alright city.

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New: Destiny 3000 – EFFIE

I’ll never understand folks that reckon there aren’t any decent girl bands around. Get absolutely fucked! Most bands in Australia worth a go have girls in them, and some are all girls, like Destiny 3000. Five ladies that kick more arse than most dick-having dillweeds with guitars ever could. They will destroy your eardrums without a second thought, pummel you into the fucking dirt with their onslaught, and salute you with more fuzz than your tiny appendage can handle. Even in demo format, their new track “Effie” is a slaughter of noise and distortion that snarls with more menace than any cock-club could muster. Next time someone has a bitch and a moan over the “apparent lack of girl bands”, decapitate that dipshit with some Destiny 3000.

New: Destiny 3000-Champagne Breakfast

There’s a fucking plethora of bands right now that are doing some nasty shit involving guitars, but Destiny 3000 were doing it before all of ’em. The shit they’re getting up to is vile and borderline illegal. This new one ‘Champagne Breakfast’ is a short instrumental track, chock full of riffs that have more grit than Clint Eastwood regurgitating sawn-off shotguns. ‘Champagne Breakfast’ goes exactly as the title implies, a spewing, guttural mess that gets your day off to a great, albeit vomit-tinged, start.

Video: Destiny 3000-The Real (Kim) Deal

I’m a sucker for Pixies references. That’s the reason I clicked on this video, and I’m pretty fucking glad I did. I’m also pretty sure that their band is a portmanteau of Destiny’s Child and Andre 3000, which is pretty fucking swell as well (thumbs up for rhyming!) These guys are more lo-fi than Guided By Voices on a 4 track. Listening to Destiny 3000 is either going to be an awesome experience or a horrible waste of time. I went with the former.

You can catch these dudes at the Red Rattler on July 13 playing support for Dick Diver. OMG! You can also grab the song, in all it’s underachieving glory FOR FREE right here