Kewl New Vids for Kewl Kids: The Pink Tiles + Wives + Pow Pow Kids

Stuff these in your eye holes:

The Pink Tiles – Cut It Out

Pretty much the Melbourne answer to Bloods. Managed to catch these guys doing their thing at a trip to the Tote a few months back – it was real cool! Now, with the aid of a green screen and three chords, you can experience all the magic of the ultra soulful garage rock boppers that The Pink Tiles have got.

Wives – To Sin

Oi, fuck how cool is this? If Siouxsie were even more of a badass, she’d be fronting Wives. It’s fractured guitar pooling underneath urgent vocals spewing vitriol about confessing sins. It’s fantastic in a Lynchian kind of way; whirring confusion being compressed into some tantalising, skin-peeling subversiveness. It finishes way to quickly, and makes the pining for that debut album action all that more powerful.

Pow Pow Kids – Pow Pow Theme

I’ve only ever heard good things about Melbourne’s Pow Pow Kids. They’re doing this sort of wonky, addictive garage speil that borrows from Devo as much as it does The Ramones. Here’ they present their retort to those sitcoms that had their own theme song, because that Too Many Cooks nightmare wasn’t enough. It’s glammy, ridiculous, and the variety of outfits on display is enough to warrant the Oscar for Costuming.

Pow Pow Kids will be on their way to Sydney on July 24th, playing at the Vic in Marrickville with Dumb Punts.

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New from Cinnamon Records: Teaser Pony + Primary Colours + Passive Smoke

Fuck, dropped a bit behind on one of the best new labels out of Australia. Actually, Cinnamon was born in Canberra, if you can bloody believe it. Actually, you can, because the place where Joe Hockey, Chris Pyne and Tony Abbott engage in circle jerks is also the home to TV Colours, Wives, The Fighting League and many more purveyors of the excellent and weird.

Here’s a coupla gems that the label have released in the past few months that I forgot to #blog about:

Teaser Pony – Teaser Pony EP

Ozcore is bloody booming right now, and it seems like everyone who owns a footy jersey and a guitar wants to have a go. However, Teaser Pony are worth muddying your boots over. Culled from members of Dick Diver, Total Giovanni and Radiant Living, Teaser Pony just released a 7″, and it’s got everything on there you could want. Deplorable tales of losses at the footy, unrequited love, and existential crisis’ wrought from being stuck in the same cycle of work/gigs/two-bit relationships are vacuumed up into a loveable lil’ package of jutting guitar melodies, a smidgen of saxophone and some ever delightful vocals courtesy of Chris Crisafi.

Primary Colours – Compact Disc/Services Rendered 7″

Fuck knows how I missed this one when it was released in February. Primary Colours are an awesome band, both live and on record, and I’ve let down the entire globe by not writing a minimum of 150 words about how great they are.

Well, here goes – think of some threatening post-punk, Gang of Four for example, and then throw down a gauntlet of shrill noise and snarl. I’m talking a growl of the same degree that those wolves from Game of Thrones pull off. Mean, ya feel me? Mechanical and synthetic, this 7″ showcases that Primary Colours possess two damn fine qualities: they are both absolutely fucking terrifying, and incredibly essential to anyone who’s favourite band is Pere Ubu (aka, anyone worth shouting a schooey).

Passive Smoke – Inhale

We live in Australia, so getting lung cancer is pretty much guaranteed, regardless of whether you like to munch JPS or not. Therefore, the name Passive Smoke is such an applicable name, as well as such a band that could only exist in Australia.

The latest release from Cinnamon Records, Passive Smoke offer a fantastically bare bones approach, not too dissimilar to Kitchen’s Floor. It’s casual, naked and docile, a really beautifully rough offering of a band that certainly has more to offer. However, for the time being, these charred five tracks will do nicely as a buffer. Specifically, check out “Self Care” – what a goddamn hypnotiser of a track!

New: Honey – Hey / Colony

Outta nowhere, Canberra! Living mighty close to the same weird neighbourhood as The Residents and Chrome, Honey are named after the sticky shit that comes out of bee’s butts, and yet we still apparently find delicious. Just like that fact, Honey coat the wall of your mind with sparse cowbells and blips from the radars of 1950’s spaceships. It’s something entirely strange, minimal and intoxicating. It’s pretty freakin’ essential actually.

Top 5 Records: TV Colours

This world is ruled by facts. Gravity exists, Tony Abbott is a fuckwit, and TV Colours is the closest thing to perfection that we’ll get. In terms of classic albums, their “Purple Skies, Toxic River” record doesn’t just stand amongst the best of them – it flat out shames other records that we considered the best. It’s a riveting combination of a well-executed concept, high velocity guitar pulverisation, and the catchiest and most original songs of the decade, tied down with an authenticity that would make Billy Corgan cream. TV Colours is a band that means a great, great deal to me, and it feels impossible to truly communicate their significance. But I’ll try – here, listen to this.

If ever there was a record that could encapsulate the times that Australian society is living through currently, “Purple Skies…” is it. The way that Robin and co. so easily mouth everything that you’ve wanted to scream into your bedroom mirror is flawless. People will be talking about this album, and this band, for decades to come. The Drones’ ‘Havilah’, The Birthday Party’s ‘Junkyard’, and TV Colours’ ‘Purple Skies, Toxic River’: perfect music to suit the perfect time. If you haven’t gotten yourself a copy yet, make like Donny Bradman, and get bowled over quick smart here.

TV Colours are making their way down Sydney way to headline Bad Day Out II with one of their legendary live shows. Also on the bill are Donny Benet, Bearhug, Unity Floors, Dreamtime, and a shit tonne of others. It all goes down at Petersham Bowling Club on Saturday 24th of Jan. Tix here.

To prepare the masses for the onslaught of terrific coming their way, and to get in the #Straya mood, I asked Robin from TV Colours to tell me about his Top 5 Australian albums. Thanks, and I’ll see you in the pit.

Top 5 Records – Robin From TV Colours’ Favourite Australian Albums

AC/DC – Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

I really loved ACDC when I was younger, I still do I guess, I think, to not, would be un-Australian right? And its Australia Day. 
That late 90’s was such a gross time for pop culture and ROCK! music and it had such an effect on me that I didn’t really listen to guitar orientated music at all. I snuck into this ACDC show in Canberra in the Summer of 2001, it was pretty Detroit Rock City, and anyway, I sort of look back at it as this completely defining moment where I completely 
changed into a BONE-afied rock DOG, suddenly Dr Dre 2001 was gone and I had Jailbreak instead, it was actually one of the first times I really listening to music in a retrospective nature, and 
y’know, that’s a massive gateway to allot  of music, I guess it seems kind of obvious these days especially with every song ever recorded being pretty easily accessed for free, but back then I basically just listened to just what-was-out -at -the- time sort of thing.

The Scientists – Pissed On Another Planet

I am basically highjacking this whole thing to tell stories about myself, buuut, yknow, I feel like half the reasons I end up loving albums is because of the nostalgia. Anyway when I was 19 I basically drove around in my first car listening to this non-stop, it was awesome.

I know everyone blabbers on about ‘Blood Red River’, which is great, WHATEVER, but I really do love their power pop stuff.  I miss my first car, 1986 Honda Civic, silver,  roaring down the highway, nothing to lose, I was free. My second car just got stolen, had it for 8 years, couldn’t give a fuck, see ya later.

The Eastern Dark – Where Are All The Single Girls?

Geez, I’m really clutching at straws here, is this even an album? Was the Scientists even an album? I hate Australian music, ha ha, JUST JOKING I LOVE IT. Buuuut anyway when I was about 17 I was reading my copy of Rolling Stone (such a cool dude) and it put me onto buy this compilation called Do The Pop.

Anyway so it was this compilation of all these Australian garage and punk bands through the late 70’s and the 80’s, and it just introduced me to all those sort of really important Australian bands from back then, The Saints, Radio Birdman, The Scientists, Hard Ons ayyynd of course The Eastern Dark. And of everything on that album I think I loved Johnny and Dee Dee the most, I just remember it as being one of those early instances in which I realised that punk and pop could mix pretty well, before that my only impression of that was that band Blink 182 ,  fuuuuuuck them, well, sort of, I have a very small appreciation for them, very very small, but only because of nostalgic reasons, sometimes I feel like a dog chasing my own tail.

Assassins 88 – Go Go Second Chance Virgin

Myyyyyyyeah look, I was in this band, but the only reason I was in this band is because I loved them so much, I never actually made it onto any of their recordings or anything, I was just a hired GUN guitar player for them live, well I wasn’t even hired I just sort of demanded I be in the band.

It was one of the first times I looked at Canberra and saw a current band I really liked, I guess one of the first times I realised that you didn’t have to live in a big city to make great music, I know that sounds stupid, and it was a stupid attitude, but I definitely felt that way for a while.

Eddy Current Suppression Ring – Primary Colours

I saw Eddy Current at this place called the Roxy in Melbourne on June 7th 2007, at 8:30. And, yeah, it was such a revelation, the songs were so simple.

It felt like every other gig I went to back then was just that sort of spiky post punk angular guitars (woo!) stuff y’know, , NOT THAT THERE WAS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT. I dunno, in a time when everything seemed so complicated seeing something so simple and so effective was really inspiring.

New: Cat Cat – Microwave

Who even bloody knows where Cat Cat are located anymore? They’ve pursued this Where’s Wally approach, in that it seems like no one actually knows where they’re recording from anymore. Is it Canberra? Melbourne? Bloody Cairns?

It doesn’t really matter, because great music is great music, or as I prefer to say “Choon’s a fuarkin’ choon, aye?”. Although those words would get me kicked out of the suburban paradise that is home, it’s worth risking for the sake of the lovely jangle-pop on offer from Cat Cat, the band so nice they named it twice. And whilst I’m definitely not the first deadshit who’s thought they were being funny, originality persists in this track. 10/10 would adopt this song and raise it as my own child.

New: Danger Beach – Accelerate

Old mates Danger Beach have been gone far too long, so thank Christ that they’re back and making swirling, howling noise to sink your teeth and/or failed dreams into. ‘Accellerate’ is a new track the Canberra native posted up, which features futuristic drum thumps, swollen, blackened guitar shreddery, and enough undulating tension to topple even the most steadfast Hitchcock fan. This song trembles like Rocky in the final round, bruised and battered, but it always reels back into action with a dark presence, and it couldn’t be sounding better.

Punk Rock Album Reviews: OKAY COCAINE + Champion Lover + Sewerside

I wish I could give each of these albums a review of their own, because they seriously deserve the minimum 500 word treatment. Unfortunately, uni is testing me with assignments, and when I say that, I mean that they’re bending me over a table and fucking me raw. No lube, no nothing. Kinda like these records that you should definitely get amongst:

Okay Cocaine-Free Coke EP

Besides having a fucking killer name that makes all the 80’s fiends perk their heads up from their rolled up Benjamin and pile of 90% baking soda, Okay Cocaine are actually pretty cool. They’ve got a rock n roll sound that is like The Lime Spiders of The Stems being rolled up and smoked by a Newtown leather jeacket bought fresh from Cream on King.

The songs on the ‘Free Coke EP’ are played loose, shrill and reckless, with the kind of stocky swagger that Ned Kelly could respect. Every lyric is shouted at the top of one’s lungs, and every musical note rings with potent glee. It’s like whiskey was soaked into every crevice of the EP, and then the band watched with baited breath as the frontman stood over the top with a lit match, ready to watch it all go up in flames at any moment. Like their contemporary compatriots Doc Holliday Takes the Shotgun, Okay Cocaine revel in the threat of exploding at any moment, and their best instances are when they’re on the verge of exploding (see: ‘Sunglasses’)

 

Champion Lover-Champion Lover

If Children Collide, or Eagulls, reverted back to their original EP, and then got massacred in noise, they’d sound a lot like this stellar fucking album from Toronto’s Champion Lover. This album is slathered in genius, a triumph really. It pummels with the kind of excitement that used to fuel McLusky. One song in, the pants-shittingly-good ‘Read My Mind’, and you’re hooked into the cult of Champion Lover. The rest of the album is an unflinching work of harrowing, blue-collar, cigarette-pumping punk that’ll tie you down and not let you leave until you’re another disciple.

 

Sewerside-Don’t Want You to Lose

Sewerside epitomise punk. Not necessarily in the ‘1,2,3,4! Fuck Abbott…’ sense of the word (although anyone in their right mind would be of that opinion). No, Sewerside are punk rock because it’s just a couple chords from a broken guitar, being played with the kind of exuberance and charm that would make anyone wet at the knees. Not weak, mind you, but sopping bloody wet.

Ty Segall and Jay Reatard are the obvious reference points here. Sewerside just want to do some lo-fi cruisin’ and pluck the shit out of their guitars. It’s not that hard, as obviously showcased, but when you’re having this much fun with it, and coming up with a couple killer fuzz buckets along the way, then what’s the damage? Besides this noise coming back to haunt you, and becoming the soundtrack to a couple loose nights out, there’s no harm in enjoying the fuck outta ‘Don’t Want You to Lose’.

 

New Australian Music: Shrapnel + NUN + Lace Curtain + Full Ugly + Slow Violence

Boom, shackalaka! New Aussie music tunes to fill your ears unlike that hole in your life left by a yearning sense to accomplish something of semi-importance, and achieve self-fulfilment. Alas, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs will again go disused. Now go, cover that shame with some killer tunes.

Shrapnel-Print and Sign

Sam Wilkinson is a man of many guises, like some sort of musical Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 2. Hell, both are located in Sydney! Shit, Sam Wilkinson is fucking Tom Cruise!

Massive coincidences aside, Mr. Wilkinson has a new project under the name of Shrapnel, which is a weird, psych-pop thing that has all the cuteness and warmth of a gentrified Chest-Burster. If ‘Print and Sign’ grew up in the wild, it would be a ferocious beast that’s sole aim in life was to rip open chest cavities, and wreak horror upon a crew of unsuspecting space explorers. Luckily, Sam Wilkinson tamed this gnarled terror into a lounging, Mac DeMarco-meets-MGMT (Brian Eno era) pop number, that ends in a tripped out passage that’s more Hitchiker’s than Alien. Damn, it feels good to drop dumb references to local music!

NUN-Evoke the Sleep

NUN (not to be confused with the surf-rock group NUNS) are one of the brightest and best synth-punk groups to come out of Melbourne since Primitive Calculators. They’re undulating, weird and best of all, really super. Their new single, which comes off their upcoming debut, starts out ultra-Devo. Penetrating synth chords develop under blinding heat, until eccentric-noise buries them and brilliant rays of Jenny Branagh’s voice evokes a most Doctor WHo re-indition of Olivia Newtown John’s ‘Let’s Get Physical’.

Lace Curtain-I Can’t Wait

Lace Curtain hold one of my favourite EP’s of all time to their name, so anything they produce will cause rabid fits of excitement, and put me into a minor form of mental institution. ‘I Can’t Wait’ is no exception, and only after listening to it multiple times could the perfect metaphor be crafted to explain its greatness. Dark, titillating post-punk rears it’s Loch Ness head from a murky marsh, as all the Swamp Monsters and Black Lake Creatures gather around and dance their flapping gill-heads into the night, never losing their gaze from the tyrannical sounds onstage.  Copious amounts of MDMA were all involved in the production of such an orgasmic gathering of oft-overlooked B-Movie Monsters.

Full Ugly-Hanging Around

‘Drove Down’ was one of the most criminally underrated songs of 2013. Even I, No.1 Ginger of Sydney, didn’t recognise the brilliance of this 7″ for quite some time. And I felt the wrath of personal underachievement for quite some time. BUT ALL SHALL BE RECTIFIED, because Full Ugly have gotten around the releasing a new single! Although ‘Hanging Around’ doesn’t hold the same ability to touch upon all the emotions of the rainbow like ‘Drove Down’, it still showcases Full Ugly as one of the best slacker bands in Australia.

Each chord in ‘Hanging Around’ seems to drip off each other, forcing your rigid, cynical neck to bop up and down in the most fluid and gentle of ways. And the chorus, although sung in an off-the-cuff, casual way, has the same potency as if it had been screamed into your face by one of the bands off Cool Death Records. Doper than a Jesse Pinkman monologue.

Slow Violence-New Teen Angst, Pt. 2

Slow Violence? New Teen Angst, Pt. 2? Yeah, there’s no fucking way these guys aren’t a really shitty Black Flag rip-off that actually spent more time listening to My Chemical Romance and Taking Back Sunday than they did with ‘My War’. Only, they’re not. Instead, Slow Violence provide one of the most subtly comforting soundtracks in recent history. A mostly ambient mix, there’s traces of sighin’ R&B (‘Crushin’), Jon Hopkins shufflin’ (‘Limb’) and post-rock akin to Explosions in the Sky-meets-The National (‘Kidz’). Woah…did your jaw just drop? Mine is currently chilling on the opposite end of the Earth, somewhere around Greenland.

New Alternative Music: The Soft Moon + Roku Music + The Dirty Nil + PILE + Taka Perry

Ermahgerd Erlterhnertive Merzik. Ferk yer!

The Soft Moon-Feel

Seriously, new Soft Moon material is to me what a new Doctor in Dr Who is to people that have too much time on their hands. I’m unbelievably stoked that this guy has decided to put out some more stuff, and, spoiler alert, it is pretty amazeballs.

It starts out like a cross between New Order and The Residents in a dingy S&M club in the suburbs, highly strung out and a little sinister. Then the lyrics of ‘I feel like I’m dying inside, I feel so shallow inside’, and it’s right back to the normal Soft Moon territory. If you’re a fan of Cold Cave or The KVB, you should have no problem with the super-nihilism and screeching bass grooves. However, if you’re uninitiated in the ways of darkwave, then let this be a fantastic introduction.

Roku Music-Collider

The first we heard from Sonic Masala Records (probably the greatest thing that has happened for Brisbane since Violent Soho) was a fucking orgasm-laden tune from Gazar Strips. For their second release, the label have gone with the decidedly 90’s shoegaze-revivalists Roku Music.

Slow-burning doesn’t even begin to describe Roku Music. If you had a single flame that slowly grew into a blaze that covered the entire galaxy, powered solely by Kevin Shields, then you’d have something along the lines of ‘Collider’. It just gets bigger and more epic, sliding into your brain in the only way those buxom shoegaze songs can. For a point of reference, think Day Ravies crossed with a reverb drenched Pixies. If that doesn’t get you tingling in strange places, then you are not a functioning human.

The Dirty Nil-Wrestle Yü to Husker Dü

There are only two bands out there who have pulled off the umlaut successfully: Motörhead and Husker Dü. That’s it. No other bands can pull off the umlaut, because they simply do not have the badass potential to do so.

Luckily, The Dirty Nil have released the lack of hope there is in trying to place an umlaut in your band name, and have instead gone with referencing one of the greats. They’ve also managed to work in a great song title. Man, I wish there was someone out there that would wrestle with me to Zen Arcade.

As if all this wasn’t enough, they’ve topped everything off with a fucking awesome song that makes the term ‘angst-ridden’ pack up its emo-makeup and walk home to listen to Black Veil Brides until 10:30 pm, when the internet connection gets turned off.

A heavy, brooding bass-line, simple riff and bombastic drum part all smash together, tied down by a fucking amazing chorus of ‘I don’t care!’. ‘Wrestle Yü to Husker Dü’ pretty much the ultimate alternative rock song. If this had been released in the 90’s, The Dirty Nil would have been spending more time washing their hands from all the grubby meet ‘n’ greets with turdy major label execs than actually making this music that is balls deep in awesome.

PILE-Special Snowflakes

If you want to get a crash course in Boston’s current music scene, then you need to know about three bands: Speedy Ortiz, Fat History Month and PILE. The latter have just released a new 7″, the title track of which is pretty fucking great.

The song itself is seven minutes long, so its basically guaranteed that there’s going to be a musical journey of sorts, because PILE aren’t a group who’s songs exist on a single bullshit loop that goes for fucking forever. Instead, you’ve got a quiet, meandering intro that slowly raises itself into a shredder masterpiece. It’s like an alternative version of an At The Drive-In song, with the same pounding urgency and genius lyrics. Although a long song, its hard not to let your hands slam down on whatever flat surface you happen to be near whenever the snares kick in with the alertness of a college student that’s just taken 15 Ritalin to ‘prepare’ for the upcoming exams.

Taka Perry-LIFEFORMS

Fucking ages ago now, when I was but a wee fuckhead, I heard about this 14 year old kid from Canberra making some decent-sized instrumental stuff. Safe to say, I haven’t grown up, but just taking a geez at his new single, and it becomes blatantly obvious that this guy is going places.

He’s moved away from the slower, proggy stuff that he first established himself with, and instead has gone a little more of the way of ‘THE METAL’. There is some serious shredding taking place here. Who knows what made young Mr. Perry want to obliterate guitar strings with such ferocity. Although there are some moments of brief respite, the Godspeed!-like action on display is what elevates this song to severe levels of interest.

Top 10 Australian Albums of 2013

Whoomp, there it is! Or, to be more grammatically correct, here it is. Because, y’know, you’re reading this off some sort of screen, which is on front of you, and not somewhere else, which is what the preposition of there implies.

Look, I was trying to make a reference to Tag Team’s 1993 smash hit, and smoothly initiate an article about the best Australian albums of 2013, but it failed in a brutal showing of grammatical error. Anyway, as I clumsily try to regain my poise, let me say that 2013 has been a killer year for Australian records. On the International scene, there haven’t been absolutely tonnes of records that have held people’s gaze for the full year, but in Aussie-land, home of snuggies and the ‘ocker’ stereotype, there have been leaps and bounds in every genre available. Its cruel to pick just ten, but here we are, in a state of despair. Woe is I, for we art doomed to live in a state of existential pit of despair wrought by picking just ten albums for lists. Please….empathise.

Super Dooper Special (as in all tied Equal 11th) mentions go to Scott & Charlene’s Wedding, The Ocean Party, Day Ravies, Unity Floors, and Ooga Boogas.

Special Mentions go to Clowns, Amateur Drunks, Standish/Carlyon, Pikelet, The Living Eyes, Golden Blonde, Ausmuteants, The Drones and The Native Cats.

Super Duper Ultra Special Metal Album: Zeahorse-Pools

The sludge! The intensity! The gruel! Its like Jack Black once said in Tenacious D’s ‘The Metal’, ‘…you can’t kill the metal, the metal will live on’. As it does on Zeahorse’s debut record ‘Pools’. Stagnant marshes of filthy reverb and disgusting bass-lines make this a riveting listen, plunging you head first into a swirling world full of blackness and awesome sludgery.

10. Yes, I’m Leaving-Mission Bulb

Not since Fugazi has a punk band come so blindingly close to marrying the intense anti-establishment message of punk with blindingly good melodies. For Yes, I’m Leaving, a band with both an excellent name, a fantastic live show and even greater songs, its just another day making great fucking songs. Yes, I’m Leaving don’t really make a misstep on ‘Mission Bulb’, just chugging out those razor sharp punk songs like they’re a supergroup made from Patti Smith, Ian McKaye, Keith Morris, and Jello Biafra, and the old guy with a sledge hammer on the cover is replaced by Henry Rollins. Perfection!

9. Primitive Calculators-The World Is Fucked

Never have you heard something as vicious and in-your-face until you’ve witnessed the sheer terror of a Prim Calcs track. Finally, after all this time…the band have gotten around to releasing a debut studio album. Its not like Australia’s been waiting over thirty years for this thing! Thankfully, the album paid off like robbing a bank vault Die Hard 3 style, both a physical and emotional pay-off. Not for a moment do the band let up, blasting our brain cells one super charged synth-punk anthem after another.

8. Bed Wettin’ Bad Boys-Ready For Boredom

Another debut record, another awesome band name. You could say its a combination of the previous two entries, but you’d be wrong because the Bad Boys sound fuck all like the other two bands. Instead, they pick up where The Replacements left off on ‘Pleased to Meet Me’-emotionally charged everyman’s rock n roll. It belongs in a pub, three-schooners-down, with one eye on the rugby game in the corner and one eye on its uncertain future. However, if the band can keep churning out the hit factory and overall nice package that is ‘Ready For Boredom’, they should be sorted for a very long time.

7. King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard-Float Along-Fill Your Lungs

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times-King Jizz are the Darwin Evolution theory in practice. Starting out with bare-bones ramshackle rock n roll and slowly developing into the psych rock band we now see a year and a half later. However, they never lost any of the zeal and flavour they had on the ‘Willoughby’s Beach EP’ way back when, and can still manage to excite and boner-ise with their longer stuff as they can with any two minute electric shock.

6. POND-Hobo Rocket

Its a mini-album, deal with it. It was still too awesome to leave off the list. Its over-the-top glam rock, but not as you know it. If David Bowie was gobbled by some sort of psychedelic monster, and laid to waste by a plethora of Wayne Coyne clones, then you might get something as fun, frantic and off the fucking hook as ‘Hobo Rocket’. It dodges, dips, dives, ducks and dodges between all different sorts of vibes and frequencies, a restless creature if you’ve ever heard one. And boy, does it fucking sound amazing.

5. Cut Copy-Free Your Mind

‘Free Your Mind’ can’t really be defined as a return to form because Cut Copy never lost their form (go listen to ‘Zonoscope’ again, and try to feel any inkling of disappointment). Instead, ‘Free Your Mind’ continues the Cut Copy legacy, leaping and bounding into acid-house territory. The Madchester warehouse vibes are certainly there, mingling with the indie pop sensibility that Cut Copy own so hard like I own a massive Sonic Youth poster so hard. You’ll dance, you’ll think, you’ll cry and you’ll dance again, all within the confines of ‘Meet Me in a House of Love’. Isn’t Cut Copy just the greatest invention?

4. Violent Soho-Hungry Ghost

The cover-a skeleton engulfed in flames. Now that’s how you garner some fucking attention. Or, you could just stir up some of the most heart-pounding, adrenaline-inducing, mouth-watering rock songs this side of ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’. Most of the songs on ‘Hungry Ghost’ are anthems, no doubt about it. Try to listen to a chorus of ‘Hell FUCK YEAH!’ without forming some sort of death circle in whatever location you happen to be in. In completely unrelated news, death by moshpits have gone up 215% in nursing homes that play Triple J. But that’s not all there is to ‘Hungry Ghost’, as the team manage to cook up a couple of heart-warming surprises throughout. More delicious than an angel made of bacon.

3. Palms-Step-Brothers

I guess the reason why Palms are such a great band is because they’re doing something that’s been done so many times before, but putting such an original stamp on it, that you can’t help but do a quintuple take. That’s right, your head will spin a minimum of five times as you try to reconsider your life without Palms in it. There’s so much to swallow when listening to ‘Step Brothers’, but not in a bad way. No, going through this, you’ll be gulping through as much musical content as possible to get all that Palm-y goodness in your spirit ASAP.

2. The Gooch Palms-Novo’s

Speaking of Palms, The Gooch Palms came in with one of the strongest musical entities of the year. However, whilst Palms channel Springsteen, Goochies are all about The Ramones. Bratty, snotty punk, farted out into the willing ears of all lucky enough to listen. However, The Gooch Palms show a surprising diversity, and with the mixture of shameless pop ballads, rain-soaked bummer ear-catchers and leather-jacket FUCK YEWWW’s, you can’t feel bored, even for a second. Rock n Roll runs in the veins of Kat and Leroy and to deny them of that would mean to say that this album doesn’t make you immediately want to strip off all your clothes, run down a highway and spread the word of the Almighty Gooch.

P.S The Gooch Palms and Palms are teaming up for a tour called Palmarama, and they’re playing Oxford Arts Factory on Friday, 28th February. Miss this and perish in a pit of regret.

1. TV Colours-Purple Skies, Toxic River

Surprise, fucking surprise. The album that I can never stop blabbering about comes in at No. 1 on my list of the top Australian records of 2013. Bias aside, if you don’t like this album, then seriously, nothing can be done for you. You are a lost cause. A total travesty of a human being. This album is perfection, a lulling, mesmerising concoction of deadly riffs, lo-fi production, cheesy synths and samples, rolled into a bundle of delights that the world has never seen before. Even though Bobby Kill took two years to make this record, it was worth every minute of waiting for this fucking masterpiece. God Bless TV Colours!