Video: Bachelor Pad-Fried

Guess what? Bachelor Pad have a debut album coming out in January. And guess what even more? They have a single/video for it out right now? And guess what even more, even more? It’s so fucking amazing, your head is going to fucking explode.

That’s right. Fucking explode. ‘Fried’ delivers optimum results for such a task-fuzzy guitars careening into your skull, an wall of electricity just pounding away, and a chorus that screams with a sentiment we’ve surely all been through! It’s brilliance!


Video: Palms-A Supposedly Fun Thing That I’ll Never Do Again

YEEWWWWW! New Palms video, today is a good day! The song, ‘A Supposedly Fun Thing That I’ll Never Do Again’, is a paradox, because the only not fun thing about this tune is saying the title. Try and say it fast five times. I dare you. Its impossible.

Anyway, the video and song are trademark Palms. Fuzzy good times (an understatement: there is literally a guy trying to crawl his way over the crowd to the stage, such is his love for Palms) a bunch of rocking riffs, a little head banging here and there. Its all there, everything you could want…so sit down, shut up, and enjoy some Palms.

New: GUM-Growin’ Up (free download)

GUM is one of the many, many projects associated with Tame Impala, that small band from Perth that fucking blew the world away. This time around, the project is from Jay Watson, who does keys/vocals in Tame, and has kicked a bunch of fucking goals with POND.

Just like the name would suggest, GUM’s music swirls around and around in your mouth, penetrating you with flavour, and making you slightly more kissable. GUM is sticky, tangy and you can never get enough of it. Also, smokers (the ‘herb’ kind) love GUM.

‘Growin’ Up’ is not all that different to the other songs that Jay has put out under the GUM name; sighing, mouldy psychedelica that hits all the right nerves. And because it hasn’t changed all that much, there’s no reason to not like it. Thanks for the free download!

Top 10 Australian Songs of 2013

Making this list was one of the harder things I’ve had to do all year. Seriously, it is way to fucking hard to pick just a couple songs from the plethora of absolutely stunning Australian songs that have penetrated our ear vessels this year. And that’s only Australia. If I went international, this would be a 50,000 word article, and not just a simple list.

Anyway, there have been too many good Australian tracks, and I already know there are a bunch I’ve forgotten. So, without further ado, here’s some of the best tracks our country produced this year, according to me.


Fucking vicious, and fucking fun, ‘Loose Screws’ combines a Bronx-like assault on the mind, with accusatory, finger-pointing lyrics. For example, the opening line of  ‘WALKING ‘ROUND WITH A KNIFE IN YOUR BACK-AYE!’, was pretty par for the course. Packed to the roof with disgusting, abused sludge-punk, I don’t think any other hard ‘n’ heavy track of 2013 came as close to being so blatantly fuck you and good as Batpiss’ ‘Loose Screws’.

SUPER EXTRA SPECIAL BONUS ELECTRONICA TRACK (s): Touch Sensitive-Pizza Guy/Hayden James ‘Permission to Love’ 

Okay, I get it, this isn’t a Top 10 tracks, it’s expanded to 13. I actually don’t even care anymore, because I was having brain seizures trying to fit in my electronic loves of Touch Sensitive and Hayden James in the list. If anyone asked me what my favourite electronic music was in 2013, it’d be these two guys (and Jon Hopkins’ ‘Open Eye Signal’, but shush). Anyway, both these songs succeeded were so many other club bangers fail, because they were simply, back-to-basics tracks. They flowed like no other, with a happy, smiling vibe that not really any other producers of 2013 managed to capture. Well, not with the same authenticity anyway. Regardless, both these songs had such vibrancy and greatness that I couldn’t not include them somewhere.

10. Standish/Carlyon-Nono/Yono

Everything about this song contains an eerie beauty to it. Its like travelling down the back alleys of 1970’s Berlin, led by a sultry, stockinged temptress in slow motion. Either that, or a lingerie-clad, slightly sad but incredibly sexy high-profile callgirl watching a snake coil its way around herarm. I know that’s a very specific set of images to garner from a song, but that’s what springs to mind. Deal with it.

9. Unity Floors-Nice Fit

One of the more addictive slacker rock songs to come around as of late, ‘Nice Fit’ epitomises everything there is to love about the genre. It shows you don’t have to try and come up with some mad, sick riff or do a million solos to make something that’ll live on for a long fucking time. ‘Nice Fit’ manages to be both super chilled and super endearing at the same time. And what’s more, you will never get sick of this song in all its headbopping glory.

8. Seekae-Another

For their first track in absolutely ages, Seekae went and tried something completely revolutionary-adding original vocals. It was a risky move that made everyone wonder why the hell they hadn’t done it before! Dripping keys, a wobbling bass and tear shedding claps round this very simple track into being a tiny ball of furious emotion. I don’t think a more beautiful track was made this year.

7. Step-Panther-Maybe Later

There were a whole bunch of stunning picks to choose from in regards to established local shredders. New ones from Straight Arrows, Royal Headache, and Bloods all crossed my mind many times when compromising this list. And The Fabergettes and Palms absolutely murdered it this year as well. But Step-Panther reigned supreme with a rip-snorting anti-ambition anthem. Loud, crude and full of head banging potential, ‘Maybe Later’ is voted as No. 1 track to shout back at a band whilst in the front row of a shitty pub in the Inner West.

6. Amateur Drunks-My Favourite Stories

I really have to thank Polaroids of Androids for this one, because without them, this wonderful, sobering song wouldn’t be in my life, and that would be a fucking travesty. Feature a punk riff inspired by the likes of Frenzal Rhomb, the song is passed out in the gutter and moaning along to itself about how shit life is. And all the other degenerates gather around and sing along together, until its the loudest chorus in the city. Goddamn, being in the shits has never sounded so good as when these guys do it. Cheers POA, and cheers Amateur Drunks.

5. The Gooch Palms-We Get By

Another one that’s on the side of being down in the dumps, but instead of getting super miserable about it, The Gooch Palms decide to band together and tough it out. If you’re immersed in the ways of the Gooch, you’ll know that Kat Friend and Leroy Macqueen are damn fine songwriters/musicians. If you’re yet not on board with El Palmarama, just take a fucking listen to this song, and try and convince yourself that its not one of the greatest things you’ve heard all year. Tear-jerking, heart-swelling, mind-melting audio awesomeness.

4. Dollar Bar-Diff’rent 4 Gurls

From the very first bars, I knew that this would be a song I would love. What can I say, I’m a sucker for anything that has its roots in Guided By Voices and Pavement. But Dollar Bar take it a step further than that on their standout track ‘Diff’rent 4 Gurls’. They add that drawl and observatory demeanour that makes the average slacker rock lover wet between the thighs. The fact that Dollar Bar could combine the slacker romanticism of those amazing 90’s bands with a unique Australian outlook is too good for words.

3. Courtney Barnett-Avant Gardener

Honestly, what is there not to love about Courtney Barnett? That’s a rhetorical question, because Barnett has absolutely no faults. This all comes to a head on her track ‘Avant Gardener’, a song that could not be more perfect. A simple tale of how an attempt at gardening led to an anaphylactic attack. However, Barnett weaves this tale into one of the most masterful narratives this side of Hunter S. Thompson. There’s references to Pulp Fiction, bad bong-taking skills, and the unsung heroes that are ambulance drivers. All this, tied down with Barnett’s addictive underdog tone and a strumming guitar. Beautiful.

2. Bad//Dreems-Hoping For

Most will say there’s fuck all to do in Adelaide. As true as that might be, there are some fucking great musicians from there right now. Oisima, Horror, My Friend and Ride Into the Sun are just a few artists who’ve taken the country by storm in their respective genres. But Bad//Dreems have risen above the pack with their infectious garage rock anthems. Although ripped from a backyard/paddock in fuck-knows-where, Adelaide, these four blokes, strapped in with their singlets, instruments and a fuck-tonne of beers, are making tunes that could be planted on any stage in the world to raucous applause. You could say they’re the second coming of Cosmic Pyschos!

It was hard deciding which track from their debut EP was to be included on the Top 10 tracks for 2013, as any could have made it onto here. But in the end, the honour (?) goes to ‘Hoping For’. The track just wraps up everything there is to be about being a down on your luck, but still holding out for something great. Man, if that doesn’t ring true just even a little bit, then you’re a wanker.

1. TV Colours-Beverly

Of course it was going to be ‘Beverly’. This song is fucking fantastic! Everything about this song makes you want to jump up, start moshing like a victim extra in ‘Saving Private Ryan’, and do everything you’ve ever wanted to do, ever. ‘Beverly’ is perfect from start to finish; there’s not a single moment when you’re mind isn’t completely focused on the awesomeness of the song. When you’re listening to this track, a weird rush of elation lifts your soul, you feel powerful, and for a short 4:37 (or shorter 3:42, if you’re listening to the edit) you’re happy and in control.

Personal anecdote alert: I was having a hard time deciding which TV Colours track to include, as the entire album doesn’t have a bad song on it. ‘Bad Dreams’, ‘The Kids Are All Grown Up’, and ‘The Neighbourhood’ all went through my mind. But I chose ‘Beverly’ because I have personal history with this song. Up until ‘Beverly’, I had no clue about TV Colours, but listening to the song for the first time, I became instantly infatuated and obsessed. From there, it led me to the album, which became my favourite record of 2013, and in turn it led me to the album launch, which was one of my favourite gigs of 2013. Overall, this song opened up my eyes, and you really can’t thank a song enough for that.

You know that scene in Scanners where that guy’s head blows up…well, this is more mind-blowing than that. Enjoy.

Top 10 International Albums of 2013


Yes, it has come that time of year where every website dedicated to some form of culture has a round up of all the good shit of the year. Well, because I’m susceptible to trends, I’ve decided to weigh in as well. With the power of hindsight, I’m going to give my Top 10 records of the year, from overseas. Now, believe me, that’s a hard fucking job, more of a curse. There’s been some great records, some average records (Black Angels, Mudhoney, The Strokes) and some very disappointing records (Arctic Monkeys, Sebadoh, Yeah Yeah Yeahs). And now comes the time to rank them.

Special mentions to the records that were awesome but not super, amazing awesome: Ty Segall, FUZZ, Diarrhea Planet, Death Grips, Cage the Elephant, MGMT, My Bloody Valentine, Deerhunter, Mikal Cronin, Majical Cloudz.

ALSO: Parquet Courts would have most definitely been included in here, but although it was released locally this year, it was officially released last year.


Kvelertak wouldn’t really fit in anywhere else on the list, but their sophomore record ‘Meir’ needed to be included. Just super thrashy, fucking mental to the bone, and more hair-raising than an orgy with horror movie characters, ‘Meir’ is one hell of a record. Kvelertak certainly do justice to their Norwegian metal roots and blast our minds out of our skull on this record.

10. Thee Oh Sees-Floating Coffin

Sure, Thee Oh Sees didn’t do anything super different on their latest album. There wasn’t the psychedelic smorgasbord of ‘Warm Slime’ or the freaky ecstasy of ‘Help’. But ‘Floating Coffin’ certainly ticked all the boxes for a diverse and entertaining listen. Really, John Dwyer can’t do anything wrong when it comes to music, and ‘Floating Coffin’ is evidence of that.

9. Deerhunter-Monomania

Deerhunter make nocturnal-pop music, light enough to chat along to, but dark enough to put you in an existential mood if you listen hard enough. Shrouded in voodoo and jangly guitars, ‘Monomania’ is absolutely fucking awesome to listen to, and will probably never cease to be. Who knows what was happening to Bradford Cox when he was making this album, but his pain has become our pleasure. How very schadenfreude.

8. Savages-Silence Yourself

Not since The Slits has there been such a ferocious, dedicated and focused female-led band. Yes, I’m well aware of Sleater-Kinney and L7, and I do love both those bands. But Savages brought a rawness to their post-punk that is rarely seen in any music nowadays, let alone feminist affliction. The vicious and tantalising nature of every song on their debut record is refreshing and brutal, and I am fucking stoked to be able to see them next year at Laneway.

7. Wavves- Afraid of Heights

I was so excited for this album to come out, I actually counted down the days until it was out so that I could feverishly jam pack all the songs into my brain. I was so worried that the album wouldn’t be good, I actually lost sleep over it. Luckily, Wavves didn’t chuck a Rise Against, and made a fucking belter of an album right on the cusp of mainstream appeal. A complete distancing from their noise-rock roots and stoner fuzz, Wavves presented themselves with a new-grunge outlook. Angst-ridden and self-deprecating to the core, as well as being loaded to the brim with catchy as fuck tunes, ‘Afraid of Heights’ is definitely a worthy successor of 2010’s ‘King of the Beach’.

6. Washed Out-Paracosm

For 2013, Washed Out were my pick of the bunch of electro wonders (?) of the year. CHVRCHES? Shit. Disclosure? Pretty shit. Youth Lagoon? His new album is so terrible mediocre. And the rest aren’t really worth mentioning. But Washed Out added a whole new layer to chillwave, adding naturalistic textures to his already spread-eagled tunes. ‘Paracosm’ simply let itself flow, flow and flow some more, barely even trying to give the most relaxing sensations this side of ancient Nicaraguan healing medicine.

5. Bass Drum of Death-Bass Drum of Death

I never understood why bands self-title shit after their first EP or album, but as long as its Bass Drum of Death as opposed to Birds of Tokyo, I couldn’t really give a shit. This album encapsulates awesome rock n roll. Its a scuzz overload, way-over-the-top and totally brain dead. It sounds as though John Barrett went into the studio and created the most deranged but beautiful collection of tracks he could. That being said, the album is chock full of catchy tracks that will have you gleefully headbanging into the sunset, like some sort of leather-jacket snotty cowboy.

4. Kurt Vile-Walking on a Pretty Daze

If you’ve ever listened to Kurt Vile before, you’ll know that he exceeds the description of chilled. The guy is like the most relaxed person on the entire planet, a combination of Ghandi with Mathew McConaughey’s character from Dazed and Confused. On his latest record, which is more like a magnum opus, Vile stretches the limits of his imagination, nailing his forlorn sound and breaking hearts one bar at a time. Fuck, this is such a good record, and Vile doesn’t even have to try.

3. Future of the Left-How to Stop Your Brain in An Accident

Future of the Left and Falco are probably the last real ‘punk’ entities left on the globe. There is no other act with the political rigour and viciousness of this band. In every song on ‘How to Stop Your Brain in An Accident’, Future of the Left are committed to waging war against all factions of contemporary society, whether it be bullshit pop culture, religion, false idols or sexuality. This record will tear your fucking head off, shit in the bloody cavity that remains, and still call you a bitch for not moshing to its glorious tunes.

2. Fuck Buttons-Slow Focus

The double-LP extravaganza of Fuck Buttons’ third record is enough to floor the casual listener. If you walk into its abrasive trappings unprepared on a physical, mental, or existential level, this album will decapitate you and leave you for dead. However, for those that can handle the challenging nature of the tracks, oh, how you will reap its prosperous rewards. Every song swings into a new galaxy of sci-fi, tribal beatings, engaging every sense and making you a better person from it. ‘Slow Focus’ is just one fucking brain-basher of an album, in all the right ways.


My love affair with FIDLAR is an unhealthy one to say the least. Every time someone asks for an album recommendation, I claw their face, grapple their shoulders and scream, ‘FIDLAR! GET THE FIDLAR RECORD!’ until I can scream no more. Needless to say, I don’t have heaps of friends left. But that’s OK (?) because I have the FIDLAR record. Its a loose and reckless thing, the record that lurks at the back of the skate park, covered in tattoos, drinking something awful, and smoking a cigarette that doesn’t smell like a cigarette at all. The songs are full-paced, thrashing pieces of raw garage rock, inspired from everyone from Black Flag, to The Stooges, to Nirvana. This is a perfect album in every way, and will never die in the hearts of those that enjoy the best garage rock this globe has to offer.

Album Review: Rayon Moon-Resurrection EP

Resurrection cover art

Hahahahahah!!!! If you add an extra ‘e’ to the resurrection, you get ‘ressrerection’! It’s like a revived erection! Mwaahahahah, I’m the next Richard Pryor!

Immature gloating aside, Rayon Moon are an awesome rock n roll garage band that are filthier than the ashtray of the afterparty of a Dune Rats gig. One one side, Rayon Moon are the perfect caricatures of a garage rock band. Weird lyrics, surf-y guitars and the word ‘amateur’ smudged all over their carcass. On the other hand, this band is the perfect garage rock iconoclast. Rayon Moon’s music epitomises everything there is to love about garage music, and if you can’t se that, well, then you’re blinder than Stevie Wonder.

The opening track on their ‘Resurrection’ EP is called ‘The Phil Spector Wig Appreciation Society’, and it comes with as much slacker, smartass debauchery as one would expect with a name like that. This is the track that will get everyone boogying down on the ground like its the Apocalypse. The song is a perfect marriage of Quentin Tarantino-esque guitar and memorable chorus. If you can’t see this song being shouted back at the band by a bunch of barely legal garage rock groupies at some shithole house party, then you’re not using your imagination correctly.

Next, its ‘Count Me Out’, a dastardly daredevil exploit that could soundtrack an Evil Knievel jump across 5 million buses. Its got a swashbuckling, swaggering nature to it, warbling Cold Chisel vocals slashed into a hollow barrel of zany surf rock guitar and tribal bongos. That’s right, bongos. There’s motherfucking bongos in this track. Why aren’t you listening to it right now?

After that, we follow into some darker, seduction territory with ‘AA’. A deep, groovy bass line sprawls itself over the leopard skin rug of a track, Aviator-rocking, crucifix-earinged guitar splashes appearing more rapidly throughout, and a damn fine riff if you’ve ever heard one pouting its way into the inner conscious.

And finally, although we want to hear oh-so-much-more, ‘Kick A Fire’ ends out the ‘Resurrection’ EP. But it does leave the listener very much satisfied, with a cigarette in hand, a sweaty bosom and a pounding heart. I’m making an allusion to sexual intercourse in case you didn’t pick that up. ‘Kick A Fire’ is going to have sex with your brain. Starting out very Cramps-like, haunched bass line, the track then devolves into a demented Grinderman sort of thing, bashing itself in the head until its bleeding profusely and entertaining all within spurting distance.

Overall, Rayon Moon have proved that they’re one hell of a band to listen to, regardless of context. Whether you’re at a nice family dinner or a crack den, or even mid-coitus, with Denzel Washington, there’s always going to be some room for the ‘Resurrection’ EP. And luckily for you, the whole thing is available on Rayon Moon’s Bandcamp, along with their other EP’s. Now, altogether, lets form a circle and pray to the Tiki Gods for these bad boys to come to Sydney for a night of sin.

Album Review: Parading-Swallowing a Sunflower

The last time I went to a parade, I fucking hated it. I mean, let’s face it, parades fucking suck. If there were personal Hell’s being devised, mine would just be an endlessly long line of floats and twirling acrobats and the Mayor and shit. God, it would be despicably awful. I would probably go insane.

However, as of last month, the word ‘Parade’ found itself with a saving grace in the form of a post-rock band from Melbourne deciding that the word shouldn’t be associated with the shit sandwich that is a normal parade. Admittedly, Parading (the band) have been around a lot longer than ‘last month-ish’, but their record ‘Swallowing a Sunflower’ came out then, and its my duty to ensure that the small fraction of the internet that stumbles upon this website know that the word parading shouldn’t be immediately tied down and owned by egotistical twats that want to shut down streets in honour of some bullshit made up shenanigans.


First up, it should be said that Parading are unique as fuck. Their sound is like the post-punk of the 80’s accidentally got caught in a The Fly sort of contraption with British shoegaze, and has been living in a dark corner of their basement ever since. 2011 was the first time this creature ever stepped into the realm outside of darkness, and ever since its been getting appraised because its a fucking awesome combination of all things awesome.

But enough of my terrible comparisons, and onto the record itself. There isn’t a bad song on here, not a single one. It doesn’t seem possible, but tear-stained rock doesn’t get boring with Parading. It just drones on and on with total, unkempt beauty, droning away with unparalleled greatness. There’s that dolewave vibe coming through a bit on the songs, similar to The Ocean Party, but the loudness of the tracks, and the weird, bent vibes of the guitars and bass ensure that your brain is jailed by the music.

‘Swallowing a Sunflower’ is an apt name for the record, as the songs are kind of adding a black, gothic nature to really beautiful topics. ‘Country Song’ plods along with an acoustic guitar on one hand, just being all dainty and shit, but the undercurrent of echoing adds a dismal damper to it that elevates the track to having a fuck-tonne of tension. Same goes with ‘Dreaming About Killing’, a beautiful melody that’s sliced and diced with an overload of fuzz and morally decrepit lyric. Even the cover of ‘Factory’, originally by Bruce Springsteen, holds a little menace to it, and that song is about as stunning as they come.

Overall, Parading have not only evaporated all the negative connotations attached the word parading, but have created one hell of an album whilst doing it. Their marrying of the powerful, wicked and gorgeous into one three course meal of amazing is sustained throughout their entire record and for that, we, the music loving public of the globe, thank you. At the very least, the Reid brothers from The Jesus and Mary Chain are quaking in their boots that a couple of blokes from Australia are playing their game better than they are.

You can grab ‘Swallowing a Sunflower’ from Birds Love Fighting, the label operated by the band. Whilst you’re there, check out a bunch of the other killer records on there, from the likes of The Ocean Party and Heirophants.

New: Jesse Davidson-Big Bois Gotta Eat

Although you might be expecting something along the lines of ‘Fuck OutKast!’ or ‘Big Boi’s Fat hardy har har!’ (personally, I don’t understand why you would make that judgement, as OutKast are awesome) instead you’ll get some truly tranquil sounds from Jesse Davidson.

The kid was a finalist in last year’s Triple J Unearthed High, and then basically disappeared. But instead of chucking a Matt Corby a shelling out derivative indie tunes for the twelvie masses, Jesse Davidson has gone for the way better shoegaze-y, post-college rock route. Similar to Bearhug, the waves of noodling guitar and mysterious sounds on this track build behind this guy’s voice for an ultra-positive effect.

New: Diveliner-Electric Woman

Holy shit, Diveliner is the fucking re-incarantion of Jimi Hendrix!

That sentence might have overstepped the line just a tad, but damn, this song ‘Electric Woman’ is delicious in all the right ways, dripping over my brain like a chocolate fountain of goodness. There’s that awesome deep dark voice that wallows in the mire, and those eclectic little shuffles of guitar and synth are truly awesome. The combination of those two elements mean that you could listen to ‘Electric Woman’ when you’re ready to jump out of a moving car you’re so happy, or you want to curl up in an endless pit of darkness because you’re so sad. Either is good with Diveliner.

New: East Brunswick All Girls Choir-Dirty Bird

What a fucking belter of a track! Like Nick Cave being throttled as some sort of funeral procession marches by, ‘Dirty Bird’ just fucking jumps at you with a deathly epic nature that hasn’t been seen ‘Murder Ballads’. However, instead of the usual Nick Cave ‘I’m-better-than-you-poetry’, East Brunswick All Girls Choir come at it with a pretty cool dirty vibe, like they were just unearthed from the bottom of the Yarra river.

‘Dirty Bird’ goes off in about a million diretions at once, warbled, pained vocals, ungodly screams, droning guitar and mass freakouts. But the whole time, badass remains a virtue. Fucking killer track.