Album Review: The Uplifting Bell Ends-t u b e

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NB: From this point onwards ‘t u b e’ will be pronounced as ‘tube’, because I am supremely lazy.

Do you remember that Sad Keanu meme that went around for a while? It was Keanu Reeves (who was in Point Break + The Matrix + Bill and Ted + nothing else really worth mentioning) sitting on a bench looking like he had just murdered Bill Murray. It looked like this. Well, anyway, there is a band from right here in Sydney that both sounds like Keanu Reeve’s thought process during that moment, and has an awesome name to boot! To use cricket terminology, a sport that I am obviously overly familiar with: ‘HOWZAT!’

The Uplifting Bell-Ends, which is just a bunch of fancy words for happy dickheads, have released this pearler of an EP called ‘tube’. It’s five songs long, the same number as fingers on a hand, and the amount of fights that I’ve been in and lost.

‘Tube’ opens with ‘socks’ a dreamy, psychedelic number that makes like a washing machine in action. That is a compliment. You ever watched a washing machine just go round and round and round, then kind stop for a second, and you’re all like, fuck is it going to keep going, and then it starts going round and round again, and you’re all like, sweet, this is awesome? Well, that’s what ‘socks’ is like. ‘Wednesday’ continues that kind of trend of down-and-out relaxation, except it swaps in a beautiful chorus to combat the stoned verses, so that there’s a bit more flavour for the average listener to munch on and devour. The Real Estate vibes are strong with this one, and as ‘Wednesday’ gets to a climax, it only gets more surreal, blushing guitar drowning itself in a pool of melancholy.

In a continuation of the melancholy vibes, ‘glue’ comes on to a mumbled tranquility, slowly sliding in and out like a sloth fucking your ear. This sort of continues into ‘tube’, a pretty but morbid tale that wraps its ugly, coarse acoustic cynicism around your brain and fucks it into submission. The slight psychedelica thankfully makes a return towards the middle, disappears, and then returns for the Kurt Vile-ish closer ‘my bonnie’. It’s quaint and off-kilter, not weird but not normal, and the whole thing is soaked in grey and raining Monday mornings.

Although it sort of just ambles along, The Uplifting Bell Ends provide a really decent and lovely combattant to the majority of Sydney music, and show that you don’t need to hunker down in douchey folk territory to write a nice slow song. The lovely mix of sombre and psychedelic makes ‘tube’ a fucking great little piece of music to hear.

You can download ‘tube’ for free (nothing! zilch! fuck all!) right here at The Uplifting Bell Ends Bandcamp, along with a bunch of their other records.

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