New: Bored Nothing-Why Were You Dancing With All Those Guys?


You actually have to love Bored Nothing. The way those vocals and lyrics twist and turn around your heart, vice-grip style, it makes you want to choke on the brilliance, like watching Pulp Fiction for the first time, or eating a really good lasagne.

‘Why Were…’ is a perfect example of why everyone (worth speaking to) loves Bored Nothing. It’s a miserable song, but it’s hidden amongst a quiet pop sensibility. Jangly guitar lines and harmonica are at the forefront here, the Bravehearts of this song, only to be disembowelled in the aftermath by a heartbroken Fergus. That metaphor was almost as beautiful as the song itself.

New: Hermitude-Ukiyo

It took me a while to warm up to Hermitude, but by the time I saw them at FBi’s festival, I was a dedicated fan, and their live show blew me away like a gale force hurricane controlled by Optimus Prime.

They’ve just released a new song called ‘Ukiyo’, and it’s fucking swell. Intricate and precise beats layered over some gooey synths, similar to FISHING or Seekae. It seems like a strange direction from guys on Elefant Traks, but that’s not to say that it isn’t fucking awesome.

Video: FISHING-Chi Glow feat. Marcus Whale

FISHING have always been a favourite of mine, being probably one of my first whole-heartedly loved electronic acts from Australia. ‘OOOO’, ‘Flack Canyon’ and ‘Choy Lin’ have been staples of my iTunes Library just as much as The Jesus and Mary Chain and Dinosaur Jr.

It seems weird that FISHING have never released an album, as it seems they’ve always been there, constantly in the conscious like the Chestburster scene from Alien, or Arnold Schwarznegger’s killer rack in Commando. However, in reality, there’s been only a series of mixtapes and EP’s, and only now has a date been announced for FISHING’s debut (June 6th).

‘Chi Glow’ is the first taste of said album, a slow moving, heroin-smeared bubbling track that has strong elements of Washed Out, specifically the Portlandia theme song ‘Feel It All Around’. Fantastically beautiful, ‘Chi Glow’ is glitchy and smooth at the same time, with a small rapping section, eclectic steel drums and Marcus Whale of Collarbones pushing some gorgeous vocals.

The clip conveys this lush, honeyed feel by being way less pretentious than my sentences are making it out to be. It’s just a simple video, but has more colour, vibrancy and fish-eye lenses than a rich twelve year old’s GoPro video that’s been fed through the PopArt filter on Photobooth. Simply put, it’s a brilliant video for an even greater song.

Video: Courtney Barnett-Anonymous Club

Courtney Barnett is, right now, one of Australia’s biggest exports. She’s adorning all sorts of big-shot lineups like Coachella, and she hasn’t even released a fucking album yet.

But why would you go to all the effort of writing, producing, and creating an album when you’ve got gung-ho beauties like ‘Annonymous Club’ in the bank? This song is so subtly beautiful and nuanced, it’s more gorgeous than watching a bluebird take its first breath.

The video offers a similar aesthetic. It’s a black-and-white animation, featuring a bunch of lonely, teary creatures. It’s haunting and stunning, incredibly simple but damningly effective. Good on ya Barnesy.

New: Empia-Over the Edge feat Jugu (free download)

Wave Racer, Yahtzel and Cosmo’s Midnight are all well-established in the genre of the “New Australian Sound’ (thanks Flume), there’s another contendor in there worthy of some attention. Empia is doing the same sort of thing-shrill synths, clapping percussion, chopped vocals, and dippy bass lines. However, there’s a certain fresh variety to his music that I can’t put my finger on exactly. Maybe it’s Jugu’s inclusion, but it’s probably the precise and varied amount of samples Empia’s chucking on his song. There’s a lot there to digest there, but he’s making it damn easy with his top-notch production.

New Aus Music Pt. I : TV Programmes+ Little Desert + Hailer + Yeo + The Jones Rival

Nothing more Australian than watching Neighbours, chilling next to Uluru in the desert, hailing a cab at 2 in the morning on the way home from the Cross,saying ‘Yo’ to your inner city homies, and getting all riled up as the number 6 jersey of Jones kicks the winning goal, and cements his place as an eternal enemy.  As you might have noticed, those are vaguely related things in relation to the bands about to be reviewed, as suggested by the title. So, after an incredibly complicated introduction, here’s a bunch of bands that are making some sick music in our backyard.



TV Programmes-Combuster

First up is the vague Neighbours reference. TV programmes are something we all watch, and the Sydney band should be no different. Unless your one of those strange mongoloids that stubbornly refuses to move on and watch a fucking screen. C’mon man, conform to societal expectations! All the cool kids are doing it!

Inside TV Programmes debut EP is a swarming organism of laid back pop, and it’s a goddamn beautiful sight, like witnessing the Grand Canyon for the first time, or seeing Tony Abbott get kicked out of parliament (fingers crossed guys!). The music is mostly a murky shoegaze assortment, but there’s less feedback and reverb than, say, Sunbeam Sound Machine or Day Ravies. Nonetheless, this band capture the same sweeping but frantic romantic gestures of those band. Right now, TV Programmes are constructing some delicate harmonies (a la Bearhug) and need to just continue that vein to earn all the money ever.




Little Desert-Ashes 7″

Now for a turn of the macabre and melodramatic, it’s Little Desert. These guys are very similar to Harmony, doing crazy deep things that make me feel things that my therapist would describe as ‘progressing towards true emotion’. Fuck that! I want to be tucked away in sombre depression, hiding away my feelings from the world and pretending I don’t care! I don’t want some random band from Melbourne that features one of the most sorrowfully beautiful voices I’ve heard to make me empty salt water from my eyes!

But seriously, ‘Ashes’ is fucking heart-wrenching and beautiful and dramatic, and if The Drones had to have a spiritual sibling, Id be totally fine with having Little Desert take up the mantle.


Hailer-El Cosmico

Hailer are a band from Sydney that sound either sound like Arcade Fire at their best, or Dead Moon watching a Dukes of Hazard marathon. Seriously, each of the six songs patiently alternates between either the former or latter category. ‘Cold Outside’ could’ve been taken from Ernest Ellis’ new album, and ‘Symbol and Allegory’ wouldn’t sound out of place on Beck’s ‘Sea Change’ record. Meanwhile, ‘Crucify the Commodore’ and ‘Machine Music’ revel in noisy rock territory, sliding between psychedelic hopelessness and full-blown in-ya-face 80′s pop-punk rock (Husker Du, The Replacements). While Hailer might not be breaking any new ground, it’s still good to see a band that can play a bit of rock music well.



The new one from Yeo is a jilted orchestra away from being a Phillip Glass-meets-Little Dragon-meets-Friendly Fires clash. It starts out like a highly strung electro-pop tune, but slowly manoeuvres into a soulful and genuine track that bounces and vibrates as hard as the strings with which the song samples. It’s a surprise that Yeo isn’t a household pop name, but I guess that’s the way Melbourne likes to keep ‘em.


The Jones Rival-Uncle Frank

I’ve never had an Uncle Frank, but I can imagine that he’d be a good bloke. Plays footy, has a killer handlebar moustache, and can down a half-case of VeeBosses before regaling you with tales of how great INXS were at the local RSL back in the day. The Jones Rival garner that image pretty hard in this single, utilising a gravel-heavy, garage-soaked sound. It’s very akin to some of the loose bohemian tunes the Brian Jonestown Massacre displayed heavily on ‘Take It From the Man’ and ‘Thank God For Mental Illness’. Which is a super good thing. Super dooper good.

New: Mystery Date + Petty Things + Pop Zeus + Honey Bucket + Slim Wray

Today’s edition of new shit is brought to you by the letter Gnar Tapes (and Real Numbers’ side projects/ unruly riff rock)

Mystery Date-You And Your Sister 7″

Mystery Date is like the best version of The Replacements, somewhere between ‘Let It Be’ and ‘Tim’. It’s punk rock, but it’s got a loud, brash pop spirit to it that makes young girls’ hearts melt, and boys swoon with jealousy. Only a 7″, it’s a real shame that this thing isn’t longer. Like, say it was four albums worth of material, I still don’t think I’d get sick of it. Because reality is a cruel bitch, intent on ruining my life, this 7″ will have to do for now. In that, it provides an immediacy, the fact remaining that you only have approximately nine minutes to shake your ass as much as you can, you fat tub of lard. Move those man-boobs up and down to the guitar solos, pulverise your oversized rump to the pop-punk legacy that’s still alive and well, and before you know it, you’ll be looking like Glenn Danzig.

Petty Things-Year of the Dog

I posted about Arizona’s Petty Things a while back, with their ‘Bored’ single blowing the fuck off my expectations, mind, and causing a singeing to my genital area that hasn’t been since Shatner fucked that green chick.

Anyway, the band are back with a full length. It includes the aforementioned ball-bustingly good ‘Bored’, as well as 9 (or 10, if you got the Bonus Track Version, or BTV in industry speak) equally rip-snortin’ tracks. They’re loud and slightly obnoxious, creating songs that’ll hardly stand the test of time. But then again, how many songs from this period of time are going to be introduced to the historical paradigm? If you want my opinion, songs that deal with the most present of tenses are usually the best kinds of songs to listen to. Irreverent songs are conscious of being probably irrelevant, and so they exude an energy and charisma that most ‘serious’ bands lack. Fuck metaphors and symbolism when you can create a damn catchy riff and curl some tape hiss together into a two minute time capsule. Guaranteed, you’re more likely to enjoy yourself wrecking the ‘Year of the Dog’ cassette than your 52nd repeated listen of whatever the fuck Morrissey spouted recently. Petty Things = the most amount of love I can give to a band from the same state that named their basketball team after a fictional bird. HA! Preposterous.

Pop Zeus-Tell Me So EP

Pop Zeus is exactly that-a godlike pop concoction lifted from the beaches of a VHS trailer for tourist attractions in Honolulu. It’s a whimsical, laid back, and ultimately chilling journey of pop’s highest order. Think of Youth Lagoon making out with a soft-focus Beach House. It’s not nearly as well-mastered as the previously mentioned bands, but it’s got a hell of a lot more character and quiet vibrancy, and there’s no self-rioghteousnes associated with the people that like Pop Zeus. Basically, the people that like Pop Zeus like good pop music, which is precisely what Pop Zeus makes.

Honey Bucket-Futon

When I saw the name Honey Bucket, I immediately thought of my favourite Melvins song, and smashed four dozen Rise Against CD’s in my impatience whilst I waited for their Bandcamp to load. At first, I was disappointed that they sounded nothing like Melvins, because it meant I wasn’t right about something, and now I had to pick up a bunch of broken CD cases from the floor. It’s weird how much you miss hearing bands that obviously really like Guided By Voices until you hear one again. Honey Bucket are one such band. They’re a funky little indie rock band from Portland, and their music is quiet but super fun. There’s catchy guitar lines buried in ‘Futon’, much like that small stash of weed you forgot about in your back draw. And much like that small stash of weed, you’re fucking stoked when you find it, swimming in a whirlwind of surprised excitement and frantic imaginings of how much you’re going to utilise your new possession in the near future. In both cases, the material will be exploited for severe pleasure. At the very least, I’ve got something good to listen to whilst I chuck out those shitty Rise Against albums.


Slim Wray-I Gotta Girl (With a List Of Needs)

Easily the best thing about this song is the ruckus-raising riff. It’s the kind of thing that would blow the panties offf even the most conservative, punch-in-the-face-warranting douchebag. It’s loud and full-throttle, like a Fast and Furious move and unashamedly so. It reminds me of bands like The Fumes or early White Stripes, where the blues were married to a noisiness that purely fucking rocked.


Album Review: Liars-Mess

Liars are always pushing out the weirdest of the weird. Actually that’s an understatement. The first time I heard ‘They Threw Us All In A Trench, and Stuck  Monument On Top’, I fucking hated it. I listened to it a couple days later, and thought it was awesome. What kind of band can have that sort of polarizing effect on a person? There were no drugs involved, I was probably in the same emotional state, and I don’t think I had learnt all that much about Nietzsche in the time between the two listens. And yet, I offered myself two completely different perspectives on the album within two listens a few days apart. That’s not a weird band, like Lou Reed’s solo work or The Flaming Lips’ latest stuff; That’s a band with mystical, probably dark magical properties.

The thing with Liars is they either offer albums that take time getting used to but never surmount to being special, or they create albums that are immediately likeable and zone in on human frailty and bash it with the inane focus of the apes in 2001: A Space Odyssey. ‘They Threw Us…’ and ‘Drum’s Not Dead’ fall into the former category, whilst their self-titled, and ‘WIXIW’ fall into the latter category.

So where does that leave their new album ‘Mess’? Well, this has perhaps been the easiest selection for any Liars album, as ‘Mess’ is an intensely enjoyable and sticky effort from Liars. Maybe it’s because I prefer Liars when they’re in a more traditional songwriting mode, or maybe it’s because their new focus on synths and moving away from blistering guitar drone makes it easier to swallow the album, but ‘Mess’ remains Liars most solid and refined album to date.

Don’t worry, there’s the usual sadistic, twisted sounds that we’ve come to expect from Liars. Opener ‘Mask Maker’ ensures that when a demonic voice announces ‘Take my pants off…use my socks, smell my socks…eat my face off”, whilst a dangerous synth beat emerges. That’s kind of the template for the rest of the album. Demented and tortured electronic soundscapes set to disturbing, droning vocals.

Case in point: ‘Pro Anti Anti’ is a storming, fascist beat, whirring mechanics creating a machine of destruction. ‘Mess on a Mission’ is the kind of thing Oppenheimer probably would’ve listened to in order to pump himself up for a day of inventing mass death. The song even has a ominous tick-tocking rhythm! And ‘Darkslide’ is a gooey, dark mix, like the trash-compactor creature from ‘A New Hope’ scoring his own production credit.

Every song on ‘Mess’ is darkly morbid, and equally disturbing. And that’s what makes it such an arresting album. It’s a non-stop bubbling over of carnal desire, hidden pleasures uncovered for all to see and morbid fascinations exposed to all. It revels in the dirt and muck, and then remixes it with the twisted delight of Aphex Twin, but without losing any of the strange intoxication that makes Liars such a unique and breath-taking band. And whilst some of their previous albums have taken multiple listens to understand, ‘Mess’ stands at the forefront, naked and screaming in demented ecstasy.

Video: Girls Pissing On Girls Pissing-A Fraud Abroad

Besides having one of the greatest band names ever, Girls Pissing on Girls Pissing are just plain fucking awesome. There’s actually nothing bad about them, because their music is just the sort of float-along shoegaze stuff with a side-dish of post-punk snarl that the world needs now. Fuck love, Earth wants GPOGP.

The band have got a new video out for their single ‘A Fraud Abroad’. As you might have guessed, it’s sinister, macabre, and slightly disturbing, all important ingredients of awesome shit. The video features dark, glitch-ridden VHS loneliness and despair in a room. Whilst fucked up projections spin fucked up nightmares on the walls, and colours distort over a mirage of objects and images I couldn’t even begin to describe, all that’s left is the hollow, patiently droning sounds of GPOGP.

Top 5 Records w/ Bachelor Pad

For the fuck-all of you following my rarely updated shenanigans on Facebook, I’m starting a new fucking feature! I’m rounding up a bunch of my favourite bands/labels/heroes of Australia, giving them a theme, and telling them to collect their Top 5 Records into that theme. What’s that? Well yes, I did just finish ‘High Fidelity’ by Nick Hornby. Fuckin’ ripper of a book. Why do you ask?

The first band to kick off the precedings is local heroes Bachelor Pad. This is a band that does not give one singular fuck. They’re so young they reckon Nazis were a bunch of wankers from the first Captain America movie, but they’ve got enough spunk, good looks and mullets to make up for that.

Seeing them live is an experience unto itself as well; you’re guaranteed to see some instruments get a bashing, some gurgling, shouted vocals, and onstage antics that would make a drunken Ozzy Osbourne scream blushing obscenities in an effort to outdo these young guns.

But what’s most important is that Bachelor Pad have perfected the craft of the simple garage rock song. They bash it out in a couple minutes (only one song from their debut album, ‘Dooming Out’, exceeds 3 minutes) but every single one of the tracks is packed to the brim with killer hooks and fantastic chorus’.

Bachelor Pad are one of my favourite Sydney bands, so I’m stoked that they will open up this new feature. Cheers mates!

Theme: Young, Dumb, and Full of Cum

Cumstain: Hurry Up and Kill Yourself…

I know this list is called ‘Young, Dumb & Full of Cum’ and it seems awfully clichéd to include a band called Cumstain on said list but…they are called Cumstain. Cumstain. Let that sink in. Like an actual Cumstain. Also the album’s full title is ‘Hurry up and Kill Yourself You Scum Bag Trust Me Your Mother Won’t Miss You’. They manage to fit 12 short sharp power pop jams about mutual masturbation, unprotected sex and the sweet, sweet single life onto a one-sided LP that was released by the most excellent Burger Records. Also did I mention the dude doesn’t wear pants on stage? Cumstain are probably ya new favourite band.

Beastie Boys: License To Ill

Someone once said that License to Ill was the original gangster rap album (or OG rap album to you and me) as it contains enough references to gun violence, impassioned sex and alcohol abuse to make Ice Cube blush. Whether or not you choose to believe this is up to you. The cold hard fact of the matter is that somehow three snotty ex-hardcore punks managed to make one of the landmark rap albums of the 1980s. To fully understand the shear amount of classroom fooling that appears on the album you have to remember that the original title for the album was ‘Don’t Be a Faggot’. That should give you an accurate idea of how high-brow this record is.

Razar: Stamp Out Disco/Taskforce 7”

Emerging from the same oppressive swamp that birthed a multitude of amazing bands like The Saints, The Riptides, Regurgitator and Custard, Razar released two EPs and then completely disappeared. The aforementioned swamp is of course 1970s Brisbane. Joh Bjelke-Petersen ruled the sunshine state with a corrupt, iron fist for 19 long years. Thankfully Australian punk rock rose like a glorious phoenix out of the conservative quagmire and produced some of the most vitriolic music ever committed to tape during this period. I would highly recommend reading Andrew Stafford’s excellent ‘Pig City’ which chronicles the rise and rise of the Brisbanus music scene.

UV Race: s/t LP

This record is so gloriously stupid that to write about how stupid it is would defeat the point. If you’re not familiar with the music of The UV Race then pull ya head outta whatever encyclopaedia you’re reading and get acquainted. And yes I did need to spell check encyclopaedia, and do you know why? Because I’m proud to be the lowest common denominator. I am someone who gets bummed out waiting for the train or whose mind goes blank when staring at pretty girls. These are the problems that The UV Race write about in their blissfully simple and catchy punk tunes. Not everyone can save the world like that fuck knuckle Bono so why bother trying.

Redd Kross: Born Innocent

Redd bloody Kross. Where to begin? These guys began when they were in middle school (whatever the fuck that is) and are the anti-Beach Boys. Although sharing a home town and an affinity for harmonies, Redd Kross’ snotty take on early Californian hardcore couldn’t be further from the strains of ‘Help Me Rhonda’. During the band’s early stages, they shared members with other bands like Black Flag and The Circle Jerks. The song ‘Cover Band’ has the same riff as The Circle Jerk’s track ‘Live Fast, Die Young’. Regardless, the amount of snot contained in this record is enough to warrant a sick day.


Buy Bachelor Pad’s amazing records right here!